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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




TEACHER--Johnny can you tell me what a section boss is

Puns Home









TEACHER--Johnny, can you tell me what a section boss is?



JOHNNY--The conductor of a sleeping-car.











Next: PERSONAL--'A young woman to whom black is particularly becoming would like to meet a gentleman in poor health; object widowhood

Previous: They cannot be complete in aught Who are not humorously prone; A man without a merry thought Can hardly have a funny bone



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Puns

Tommy--pa Did You Really Mean It When You Said You'd Spank Anyone That Broke That Vase
What Makes So Much Froth In A Glass Of Beer Pa
We Have German Bands And French Bands And American Bands But You Never Hear Of An Irish Band
She (approvingly)--you Won Her Hand Then
I Assured Her I Could Support Her In The Style She Was Accustomed To
Can You Give Me A Front Room On The First Floor
What Do You Think Of The Statement That There Are Three Hundred Haunted Houses In New York
Pat--who Is Being Lowered Into A Well; Sthop Will Ye Murphy
Medium--do You Believe In Spirits
I Saw Your Sister On The Street To-day
A Woman Fell Overboard From A Ship Yesterday And A Shark Came Up And Looked Her Over And Went Away
What's The Matter Here
There Appears To Be No Affinity Between The Prestidigitator And The Theatrical Manager Yet They Both Make Passes
Why Should A Young Man Never Raise His Straw Hat To A Lady
There Are Many Sweet Entrancing Moments In This Life But When A Man Steps On Your Pet Corn You Do Not Experience One Of Them
An Irish Doctor Advertises That The Deaf May Hear Of Him At A House In Liffey Street Where His Blind Patients May See Him From Ten Till Three
I Saw A Sign In A Hardware Store To-day 'cast Iron Sinks
A Little Burn Makes A Big Smart Sometimes
What's The Matter Here
I Say Old Chap How Short Your Overcoat Is
I Wouldn't Stand For That If I Were You
Tom--i Kissed Her When She Wasn't Looking
Why Are Pugilists Like Chickens
Smith--there Is Something That Will Never Be Boycotted By The Fair Sex As Long As Time Lasts
They Say Corporations Have No Soul