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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Electricity Is A Great Educator
How Are You To-day

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What's The Matter Here
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws

The first impulse of the young married man on being presented with his first baby is to give it a-weigh

Puns Home

The first impulse of the young married man, on being presented

with his first baby, is to give it a-weigh.

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Previous: Business men who marry their typewriter girls are apt to find that the young women are not so ready to submit to dictation after the wedding

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Viewed 1963


The Governess--what Happened When The Man Killed The Goose That Laid The Golden Egg Margie
When Were Walking-sticks First Invented
Yes Dear Said The Petted Young Wife Examining Her Christmas Gift These Diamond Earrings Are Pretty But The Stones Are Awfully Small
An Irishman Quarreling With An Englishman Told Him If He Didn't Hold His Tongue He Would Break His Impenetrable Head And Let His Brains Out Of His Empty Skull
Jonah's Experience With The Whale Is Proof That You Can't Keep A Good Man Down
At A West End Hotel One Of The Party Asked: Have You Got Any Celery Waiter
She (approvingly)--you Won Her Hand Then
It Doesn't Do Any Good To Scold The Janitor About Our Cold Rooms
American--you Have Noticed I Suppose That The Balance Of Trade So Far As Your Country And Ours Are Concerned Is Still In Our Favor
A Maine Dealer Says He Has Sold More Skates This Season Than He Has Ever Sold Before In An Entire Season
Guest--look Here Waiter Do You Call This A Spring Chicken
I Don't Give A Rap Said The Coachman Haughtily As He Rang The Electric Bell
An Irishman Wandering Up Fifth Avenue Saw In The Window Of A Photographer's Shop A Large Photograph Of Mephisto
You Haven't A Cent And Yet Wish To Marry Miss Bilyan
Have You Much Room In Your New Flat
Wife--got A Dollar
There Goes A Man Who Leads In Letters
What Is A Swell Affair Jim
He--didn't You Promise To Love Honor And Obey Me
John--i Went Into A Restaurant To-day
What Is The Secret Of Success
The Glazier Is Not Necessarily A Tiresome Man Because He Gives You A Pane
Says His Lordship To Thomas Your Rent I Must Raise I'm So Plaguily Pinch'd For The Pelf
Said She How Beautiful Is Nature
Ikey--fader Is Imbegunious Undt Inzolvent Der Same