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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




The impecunious young man who marries a girl with a substantial check attached may very properly be said to have been checkmated

Puns Home









The impecunious young man who marries a girl with a substantial

check attached may very properly be said to have been checkmated.











Next: VISITOR--I suppose you have a great deal of poetry sent into you for publication

Previous: There are many sweet entrancing moments in this life but when a man steps on your pet corn you do not experience one of them



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Puns

Visitor--oh What A Nice Parrot You've Got
It Was The Morning After And He Wanted A Small Favor
Visitor--i Suppose You Have A Great Deal Of Poetry Sent Into You For Publication
What's The Matter Here
Doing Anything Now Bill
Guest--what Have You Got
I Suppose Barnum Went To Heaven When He Died
The Impecunious Young Man Who Marries A Girl With A Substantial Check Attached May Very Properly Be Said To Have Been Checkmated
I Hope They Don't Give My Little Boy Any Naughty Nicknames In School
The Wife (savagely)--don't Let Me Catch You Flirting
There Are Many Sweet Entrancing Moments In This Life But When A Man Steps On Your Pet Corn You Do Not Experience One Of Them
Did Any Of You Ever See An Elephant's Skin
Mary Had A Little Lamb But She Thought It Was Immense: With New Green Peas And Other Things It Cost Her Ninety Cents
Mistress (to Cook Who Has Fallen Down Stairs)--i Hope That You Did Not Hurt Yourself Mary
He Used To Send Her Roses; He Sent Them Every Hour But Now They're Married And He Sends Her Home A Cauliflower
I Hear Smith The Sea Captain Is In Hard Luck
Teacher--thomas Can You Tell Me Which Battle Nelson Was Killed In
That Was A Pretty Good Dog Story Wasn't It
You Want A Divorce From Your Wife Do You
I Hate A Liar Wiggins Cried Said Jiggins Then 'twould Seem You Really Ought To Try And Hide Your Lack Of Self-esteem
Don't Talk To Me About Compulsory Vaccination
Bess--may Wears The Worst Clothes When She Is Riding Horseback
Thin Boarder--i Don't See How You Manage To Fare So Well At This Boarding-house
They Say Corporations Have No Soul
Lady (after The Tramp Finishes Eating)--it's Merely A Suggestion--the Woodpile Is In The Back Yard