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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




The kerosene can on the mantel reposes Its contents were sprinkled all over the fire And all that poor Kathleen O'Donohue knows is This dull world has changed for a sphere that is higher

Puns Home











The kerosene can on the mantel reposes,

Its contents were sprinkled all over the fire,

And all that poor Kathleen O'Donohue knows is,

This dull world has changed for a sphere that is higher.











Next: He seems to have gone to the bad completely

Previous: LITTLE WILLIE--Papa why does the railway company have those cases with the ax and saw in every car



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Puns

You Treat Me Cried Mrs
Mistress (to Cook Who Has Fallen Down Stairs)--i Hope That You Did Not Hurt Yourself Mary
Corbett And Fitzsimmons Will Never Fight Again
Sibly--when Steve Proposed To Me He Acted Like A Fish Out Of Water
Playwright--there Is A Great Climax In The Last Act
--that Jersey Murderer Was Clever To Get Off As He Did Wasn't He
An Irishman In Order To Celebrate The Advent Of A New Era Went Out On A Lark
I'll Pass The Butter Said He While Trying To Pass The Browsing Goat
She--a Writer Says That In Order To Succeed A Man Must Be Ninety-five Per Cent
We Mustn't Kiss The Baby We Mustn't Kiss The Kid We Mustn't Kiss The Dainty Miss So Scientists Affirm; To Pounce Upon And Wrastle Us There Waits The Awful Bacillus The Sempiternal Most Infernal Omnipresent Germ
When A Couple Are About To Elope The Young Man Asks
He's A Professional Grafter
Did You Know That Xanthippe Wife Of One Of The Greatest Of Ancient Philosophers Was A Great Scold
So You Were Bound And Gagged By Bandits While In Italy Were You
I Asked A Young Lady Living On Her Pa's Farm What They Did With All Their Fruit
Johnnie--ya-as I've Just Come Back From Ireland--county Cork
An Irishman Quarreling With An Englishman Told Him If He Didn't Hold His Tongue He Would Break His Impenetrable Head And Let His Brains Out Of His Empty Skull
Dick--do You Think You'll Have Much Trouble In Popping The Question
A Man At The Hotel Wanted To Bet That Corbett Would Knock Out Jeffries
Guard--i Suppose When You Were In The Army You Often Saw A Picket Fence
An Irishman Just Landed Seeing An Electric-motor Car Running For The First Time Exclaimed: Well Well Ould Nick Must Be Pullin' It Wid A String
You Say His Wife's A Brunette
Do You Know The Nature Of An Oath Ma'am
Nature Never Allows Anything To Run To Waist
The Judge Asked An Irish Policeman Named O'connell When Did You Last See Your Sister