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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




The weary desert stretched for miles

Puns Home











The weary desert stretched for miles. Stretched for sheer

weariness. Not a drop of water was in sight.



Then it was that the traveler had an inspiration.



He wrung his hands.











Next: Corbett and Fitzsimmons will never fight again

Previous: I've been married five years and I've got a bushel of children



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Puns

Jack--are You A Suitor For Miss Juliet's Hand
When I Was Eating My Dinner To-day The Butter Ran
Landlady (proudly)--nothing Goes To Waste In This House
He Always Kneeled Before The Maid And Kissed Her Finger Tips; But He Lost Out
What Is Your Idea Of Happiness
Attorney For The Defense--have You Ever Been Cross-examined Before
Tramp--can't You Give A Poor Man Something To Eat
This Life's A Game Of Chance They Say: The Saw's More Sad Than Witty The Public Gathers 'round To Play The Trust Controls The Kitty
The First Kiss Only Comes Once In A Lifetime
Thin Boarder--i Don't See How You Manage To Fare So Well At This Boarding-house
So You Were Bound And Gagged By Bandits While In Italy Were You
If Tough Spells Tough
The Slats Of The Shutter Of Our Office-window Are In A Dilapidated Condition
For Mercy Sake Don't Put Me Near Old Billions
I Wonder What The Holes In A Porous Plaster Are For
If I Might Hold That Hand Again
My Friend Said The Long-coated Old Man Solemnly Have You Made Preparation For The Day Of Judgment
Groceryman--pat Do You Like Apples
Do You Know George Papa Thinks You Are A Literary Man
Husband--i Am Going To Buy Two Little Children
What Did De Lady Do When Yer Asked Her For An Old Collar
Now Comes The Question Which Will Make This Life A Bitter Cup
Telephone Operators Are Always Bound To Have The Last Word; That's Why Females Are Always Employed In That Capacity
When Lot Found His Wife Transformed Into A Pillar Of Salt He Was Wise Enough To Let It Go At That And Not Take A Fresh One
A Notice At A Small Depot Near Manchester Reads: Passengers Are Requested To Cross Over The Railway By The Subway