There was a young woman named Hannah Who put on a great many airs She stepped on a peel of banana And now she's laid up for repairs
There was a young woman named Hannah,
Who put on a great many airs,
She stepped on a peel of banana,
And now she's laid up for repairs.
More
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The tramp should never complain of hunger when he can always
enjoy a little loaf
The tramp should never complain of hunger when he can always enjoy a little loaf. ... The weary desert stretched for miles
The weary desert stretched for miles. Stretched for sheer weariness. Not a drop of water was in sight. Then it was that the traveler had an inspiration. He wrung his hands. ... THE WIFE (savagely)--Don't let me catch you flirting
THE WIFE (savagely)--Don't let me catch you flirting. THE HUSBAND (meekly)--No, dear, never again. That's the way you did catch me, you know! ... The word 'reviver' spells the same backwards and forwards
"The word 'reviver' spells the same backwards and forwards." It was the frivolous man who spoke. "Can you think of another?" The serious man scowled up from his newspaper. "Tut-tut!" he cried contemptuously. And they rode on in silence... There appears to be no affinity between the prestidigitator and the theatrical manager yet they both make passes
There appears to be no affinity between the prestidigitator and the theatrical manager, yet they both make passes. ... There are many sweet entrancing moments in this life but when a man steps on your pet corn you do not experience one of them
There are many sweet, entrancing moments in this life, but when a man steps on your pet corn you do not experience one of them. ... There goes a man who leads in letters
"There goes a man who leads in letters." "Ah, indeed! What's his name?" "A.A. Adams." ... There is a man who never knew such a thing as fear
"There is a man who never knew such a thing as fear." "Ah, had a military training, I suppose." "No; his nerve is inherited. His father and his grandfather were both janitors." ... There is a Presbyterian in Jersey City so openly opposed to baptism by immersion that he refuses to carry a Waterbury watch
There is a Presbyterian in Jersey City so openly opposed to baptism by immersion that he refuses to carry a Waterbury watch. ... There is as much strength in an egg as in a pound of meat
There is as much strength in an egg as in a pound of meat. Gotabug--I should say so. I've smelt eggs that had more strength than a hundred pounds of beef. ... There is but one thing said the professor of medicine gravely that we know about death
"There is but one thing," said the professor of medicine, gravely, "that we know about death." "And that is, sir?" queried the student. "It is always fatal." ... There was a terrible murder in the hotel to-day
"There was a terrible murder in the hotel to-day." "Was there." "Yes; a paper-hanger hung a border." "It must have been a put-up job!" ... There was a young woman named Hannah Who put on a great many airs She stepped on a peel of banana And now she's laid up for repairs
There was a young woman named Hannah, Who put on a great many airs, She stepped on a peel of banana, And now she's laid up for repairs. ... There's a great art says Mickey Dolan in knowing what not to know whin yez don't want to know it
"There's a great art," says Mickey Dolan, "in knowing what not to know whin yez don't want to know it." ... There's a young woman who makes little things count
"There's a young woman who makes little things count." "How does she do it?" "Teaches arithmetic in a primary school." ... There's one peculiar feature about the trust business
"There's one peculiar feature about the trust business." "What?" "Those interested in it don't need it." "Don't need what?" "Trust. They can pay cash." ... These verses make no sense said she; I can't tell what they mean
"These verses make no sense," said she; "I can't tell what they mean." "Good! they'll make dollars then," cried he, "In any magazine." ... They cannot be complete in aught Who are not humorously prone; A man without a merry thought Can hardly have a funny bone
They cannot be complete in aught Who are not humorously prone; A man without a merry thought Can hardly have a funny bone. ... They caught the burglars that robbed the hotel last night
"They caught the burglars that robbed the hotel last night." "How?" "They jumped on the scales and gave themselves a weigh." ... They say corporations have no soul
"They say corporations have no soul." "How about the Shoe Trust." ... They say the baby looks like me A circumstance I dreaded But the only likeness I can see Is that we're both bald-headed
They say the baby looks like me, A circumstance I dreaded, But the only likeness I can see Is that we're both bald-headed. ... THIN BOARDER--I don't see how you manage to fare so well at this boarding-house
THIN BOARDER--"I don't see how you manage to fare so well at this boarding-house. I have industriously courted the landlady and all her daughters, but I'm half-starved." FAT BOARDER--"I court the cook." ... Things are wrong remarked the observer of events and things when a reputable physician has to pay money for a certificate to practice and a fourteen-year-old girl with a new piano doesn't
"Things are wrong," remarked the observer of events and things, "when a reputable physician has to pay money for a certificate to practice, and a fourteen-year-old girl with a new piano doesn't." ... This is an interesting clock Miss said the salesman you really should have one especially if you're bothered with tiresome callers
"This is an interesting clock, Miss," said the salesman, "you really should have one, especially if you're bothered with tiresome callers." "It's merely a cuckoo clock, isn't it?" asked Miss May Pechis. "Yes, but beginning at 10 P.M., instead...