Lady X., after walking in a wood near her house in Ireland, found that she had lost an important key. She dreamed that it was lying at the root of a certain tree, where she found it next day, and her theory is the same as that of Mr. A., the o... Read more of The Lost Key at Scary Stories.caInformational Site Network Informational
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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




These verses make no sense said she; I can't tell what they mean

Puns Home











"These verses make no sense," said she;

"I can't tell what they mean."

"Good! they'll make dollars then," cried he,

"In any magazine."











Next: THE BARBER--Did I ever shave you before

Previous: Elderly Man (greeting former acquaintance)--I remember your face perfectly miss but your name has escaped me



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Puns

He: Do You Know Dear You Remind Me Of Huyler's Candy
A Woman Never Fully Understands The Hardness Of The World Until She Falls Off A Bicycle A Few Times
Boss Hab You Got Any Ob Dem Confound Cavortic Pills
Ida--yes Dear This Is One Of Those 'perfume' Concerts The Same As They Have In New York
Don't Take A Bull By The Horns; Take Him By The Tail Then You Can Let Go Without Getting Some One To Help You
When You See A Young Man Cleaning A Girl's Bicycle They Are Engaged; But When You See The Operation Reversed They Are Married
A Squall On The Sea Is A Stress Of Weather And A Squaller On Land Is A Songstress
The Old Lady Who Sent As Presents To A Newly-married Couple A Rolling-pin A Pain Of Flat-irons And A Motto Inscribed Fight On Must Have A Grudge Against Them
Corbett And Fitzsimmons Will Never Fight Again
I Wish The Hot Weather Would Come Along Sighed The Thermometer
Now Why Remarked The Little Dog In Speaking To The Tree Would You Say That The Heart Of You Is Like The Tail Of Me
He Used To Send Her Roses; He Sent Them Every Hour But Now They're Married And He Sends Her Home A Cauliflower
Electricity Is A Great Educator
The Man--edison's A Wonder Isn't He
Permit Me Then To Die At Your Feet
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
I Sent A Dollar Last Week Said The Good Thing In Answer To That Advertisement Offering A Method Of Saving One-half My Gas Bills
You Treat Me Cried Mrs
I Was At A Banquet Last Night
Why Do You Call Your Dog Hardware
Did You Hear The Story About The Peacock
First Doctor--well Doctor I Had A Peculiar Case To-day
Jimson--now You Wouldn't Marry Me Would You
A Man With The Heart Disease Is About The Only Chap Who Desires A Regular Beat For A Bosom Friend
Have You Received Last Month's Gas Bill Dear