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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




This liver is awful Maud said Mr

Puns Home









"This liver is awful, Maud," said Mr. Newwed.



"I'm very sorry," returned the bride, "I'll tell the cook to

speak to the livery-man about it."











Next: Who was the first one that came from the ark when it landed

Previous: It doesn't do any good to scold the janitor about our cold rooms



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Puns

Irish Stew Said The Restaurant Guest
Massachusetts Is Noted For Boots And Shoes
He's Quite A Star As An After Dinner Speaker Isn't He
How To Signal A Bark--pull A Dog's Tail
A Farmer Once Called His Cow Zephyr She Seemed Such An Amiable Hephyr
What Is The Difference Between The Admission To A Dime Museum And The Admission To Sing Sing
The Wife (savagely)--don't Let Me Catch You Flirting
Mistress (to Cook Who Has Fallen Down Stairs)--i Hope That You Did Not Hurt Yourself Mary
I Asked A Young Lady Living On Her Pa's Farm What They Did With All Their Fruit
The Girl Who Marries A Title Very Frequently Turns Her Fortune To A Count
What Do You Mean By Referring To Miss Elderly As A Pall-bearer
Doing Anything Now Bill
Jack--my Wife's A Fine Shot
Bluff A Little Bluff A Little As You Go Your Way; Bluffing May Not Always Help You-- Many Times It May
Why Are Pugilists Like Chickens
It's Been A Coal Day When You're Left Said The Kindling-wood To The Cinder
When A Woman Finds Her Dress Does Not Match Her Complexion It Is Always Easy Enough To Change Her Complexion
She--i Had A $5 Bill In This Dictionary Yesterday And I Can't Find It Anywhere
Sentimental Wife--last Night I Dreamt That I Was In Heaven
The Doctor--you Regard Society As Merely A Machine Do You
He: Do You Know Dear You Remind Me Of Huyler's Candy
If The Devil Lost Its Tail Where Would He Go To Get Another One
A Man Stole A Harness The Other Day And Never Left A Trace
And You Really Believe That Friday Is An Unlucky Day
Held By The Enemy--the Ulster Which We Are Unable To Redeem