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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




We mustn't kiss the baby we mustn't kiss the kid We mustn't kiss the dainty miss so scientists affirm; To pounce upon and wrastle us there waits the awful bacillus The sempiternal most infernal omnipresent germ

Puns Home









We mustn't kiss the baby, we mustn't kiss the kid,

We mustn't kiss the dainty miss, so scientists affirm;

To pounce upon and "wrastle" us there waits the awful bacillus,

The sempiternal, most infernal omnipresent germ.











Next: What I like about the Irish is that they are so modest and unassuming

Previous: An old lady, being told that a certain lawyer was lying



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Puns

--i Met A Deaf And Dumb Man To-day Who Had Every Joint Of His Fingers Broken
Dearest She Murmured I'm So Afraid You'll Change
I Had Soup In A Restaurant The Other Day And Found An Oyster In It
Mary Had A Little Waist Where Waists Were Meant To Grow And Everywhere The Fashions Went Her Waist Was Sure To Go
These Verses Make No Sense Said She; I Can't Tell What They Mean
And You Really Think That A Miss Is As Good As A Mile
Courtney--when You Proposed To Miss Dexter Did You Get Down On Your Knees
I See Villainy In Your Face Said A Judge To A Prisoner
If Said The Druggist You Will Give This New Tonic A Trial I'm Sure You Will Never Use Any Other
A Little Burn Makes A Big Smart Sometimes
Take Away My First Letter Take Away My Second Letter Take Away All My Letters And I Am Still The Same
Moses--how Did You Make Your Money Ike
A Lady One Day Being In Need Of Some Small Change Called Down-stairs To The Cook And Enquired: Mary Have You Any 'coppers' Down There
Yes Indeed He's The Homeliest Man In Public Life To-day
When Were Walking-sticks First Invented
Letters From A Soldier Of Fortune--i
Only The Highest Element In Local Society Was Invited To The Ball
Say Dad What Is An Expert Accountant
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Brown--peckhen Has Arrived Safe
Clara--he Gave Me An Army-and-navy Kiss
Pa What Does Sioux Falls S
Nature Never Allows Anything To Run To Waist
So Her Second Husband Is A Tenor
Young Ladies Who Feel Anxious To Preserve The Most Symmetrical Anatomical Proportions Should Never Be In A Hurry