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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




What a distinguished looking man

Puns Home









"What a distinguished looking man."



"Yes, the last time I saw him he was on the bench."



"What, a judge?"



"No; a substitute ball-player."











Next: HE--Didn't you promise to love honor and obey me

Previous: When was money first invented



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Puns

Diner--hello
The First Kiss Only Comes Once In A Lifetime
Regular Caller--i'd Like To See Your Father Tommy If He Isn't Engaged
What Is Love
For Mercy Sake Don't Put Me Near Old Billions
A Simple Old Farmer Mcveagh Whom Every One Said Was A Jeagh Fell In With A Man On The Confidence Plan And Now He Is Back Making Heagh
A Lady One Day Being In Need Of Some Small Change Called Down-stairs To The Cook And Enquired: Mary Have You Any 'coppers' Down There
Sing Not To Me Of Falling Dew Upon The Purple Hills For I Am Worried Far Too Much By Falling Due Of Bills
Mrs
Pressed For Work--cider
Harold Began His Wife
It's All Foolishness To Talk About Any One Getting The Worst Of It In The Matrimonial Game Declared The Big Man With A Silk Hat And A Loud Suit Of Clothes
You Own Your Own House Don't You
The Slats Of The Shutter Of Our Office-window Are In A Dilapidated Condition
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
What Became Of That Girl You Made Love To In The Hammock
Would You Said The Reporter Who Gets Novel Interviews Tell Me What Book Helped You Most In Life
The First Impulse Of The Young Married Man On Being Presented With His First Baby Is To Give It A-weigh
'tis Now The Wily Urchin Mocks The Lynx-eyed Cop Along The Docks And Plunges In The Cooling Tide Arrayed In Naught Else But His Hide
Can You Give Me A Front Room On The First Floor
What Have You Here
Mrs
Customer (to The Coal Dealer): Have You Got Any Name For Those Scales Of Yours
Too Bad They Can't Train Cats To Understand Baseball Remarked The Fat Man To His Neighbor On The Bleachers
Pat--'twas The Divil Of A Blow The Dago Gave Yer