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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




What a fearful night I had when I drew this gun the first time

Puns Home











"What a fearful night I had when I drew this gun the first time!"

said the bartender, as he showed a handsome silver-mounted Colt.



"When was it?" gasped the crowd.



"Night before last at the raffle in Kelley's!"











Next: Gee whizz

Previous: A man aroused his wife from a sound sleep the other night saying that he had seen a ghost in the shape of a donkey



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Puns

Peters--are You Not Sick Of Hearing Everybody Sing That Popular Song
Now Why Remarked The Little Dog In Speaking To The Tree Would You Say That The Heart Of You Is Like The Tail Of Me
I Was At The Track To-day Percy And There Was A Horse Down There With The Itch
How Could You Endure Talking So Long With That Ugly Old Woman With That Frightful Costume Without Laughing In Her Face
Of The Heroine In One Of The Latest Sensational Novels It Is Said: Her Eyes Chained Him To The Spit
He Called Her An Angel Before They Were Wed But That Alas
Teacher--thomas Can You Tell Me Which Battle Nelson Was Killed In
Mike--yus Poor Sullivan Is Dead
What Kind Of Hen Lays The Longest
I've Been Pondering Over A Very Singular Thing
Johnny--what Makes You Look So Tired
Too Bad They Can't Train Cats To Understand Baseball Remarked The Fat Man To His Neighbor On The Bleachers
He: Do You Know Dear You Remind Me Of Huyler's Candy
Don't Doubt The Veteran Who Tells You He Was Always Where The Bullets Were Thickest; Perhaps He Was Hiding Under The Ammunition Wagon
She--they Say That Your Father Is A Millionaire
It's Been A Coal Day When You're Left Said The Kindling-wood To The Cinder
There Was A Young Woman Named Hannah Who Put On A Great Many Airs She Stepped On A Peel Of Banana And Now She's Laid Up For Repairs
We're All Often Forced To Rob Peter In Order To Settle With Paul But Some Of Us Merely Rob Peter And Paul Never Sees Us At All
Nature Never Allows Anything To Run To Waist
He--don't You Think Miss Plainly Is The Very Image Of Her Mother
How Did You Cure Your Boy Of Swearing
I Am Told Lynching Is A Pastime In This Section
Are You Intimate With Any Of The Nobility
Don't Take A Bull By The Horns; Take Him By The Tail Then You Can Let Go Without Getting Some One To Help You
As Man And Wife Are One The Husband When Seated With His Wife Must Be Beside Himself