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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




What have you here

Puns Home











"What have you here?" asked the fresh young man of the waiter at

a first-class restaurant.



"Everything, sir."



"Everything?" sneeringly, "Have it served at once."



"Hash for one," yelled the waiter.











Next: When we first dined at a cafe We feared they'd drop their trays but later We learned somewhat to our dismay It takes--as scores of men will say-- A big tip to upset a waiter

Previous: I'm the champion long distance cornet player



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Puns

In One Way The Clock Makers Are Independent Of Labor Troubles
Let Me See Said The Minister
Pressed For Work--cider
There Was A Young Woman Named Hannah Who Put On A Great Many Airs She Stepped On A Peel Of Banana And Now She's Laid Up For Repairs
That Tenor Of Yours Has A Marvelous Voice
Why Is Miss B---- Wearing Black
They Cannot Be Complete In Aught Who Are Not Humorously Prone; A Man Without A Merry Thought Can Hardly Have A Funny Bone
Young M
What A Fearful Night I Had When I Drew This Gun The First Time
Teacher Of Drawing Class--willie Tell Me How You Would Make A Maltese Cross
Well Have You Anything To Say
I'll Admit Said Mrs
And So Prof
Ah
'tis Now The Wily Urchin Mocks The Lynx-eyed Cop Along The Docks And Plunges In The Cooling Tide Arrayed In Naught Else But His Hide
Why The Bare Idea
What Is The Meaning Of The Saying That A Man Shall Earn His Bread In The Sweat Of His Brow
A Sporty Young Fellow Named Phipps Last Night Went To View The Eclipse
Tommy--pa Did You Really Mean It When You Said You'd Spank Anyone That Broke That Vase
My Sister Had A Fright Yesterday
Poor Lot's Wife Turned To Salt Alas
Pat--'twas The Divil Of A Blow The Dago Gave Yer
I Hear They're Going To Change The Name Of Central Park To Orchard Park
Do I Bore You
Seven Little Missionaries-- Horrible Their Fate-- Cannibals Picked Clean Their Bones Then They Were Ate