Most Viewed

Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


Least Viewed

What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




What have you here

Puns Home









"What have you here?" asked the fresh young man of the waiter at

a first-class restaurant.



"Everything, sir."



"Everything?" sneeringly, "Have it served at once."



"Hash for one," yelled the waiter.











Next: When we first dined at a cafe We feared they'd drop their trays but later We learned somewhat to our dismay It takes--as scores of men will say-- A big tip to upset a waiter

Previous: I'm the champion long distance cornet player



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Viewed 1865



Puns

Where Did You Get That Hair On Your Coat
If Said The Druggist You Will Give This New Tonic A Trial I'm Sure You Will Never Use Any Other
Now Comes The Question Which Will Make This Life A Bitter Cup
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
He--did You Ever See Anything At So-called Bargain Sales That Was Really Cheap
You Are Making Yourself Rather Officious In This Crowd Said A Burly Policeman To A Notorious Pickpocket
Now Why Remarked The Little Dog In Speaking To The Tree Would You Say That The Heart Of You Is Like The Tail Of Me
Do You Think The Things One Eats Have A Direct Effect On One's Disposition
It Is A Maine Husband Who Has Dubbed His Wife Crystal Because She Is Always On The Watch
The Fate Of Lot's Wife Was All Her Own Fault; She First Turned To Rubber And Then Turned To Salt
What's The Matter John
An Irish Doctor Advertises That The Deaf May Hear Of Him At A House In Liffey Street Where His Blind Patients May See Him From Ten Till Three
Pat--'twas The Divil Of A Blow The Dago Gave Yer
First Comedian--did You Score A Hit With Your New Specialty
Mother--what Did Your Father Say When He Saw His Broken Pipe
When The Curtain At The Theater Takes A Drop The Majority Of The Males In The Audience Go Out To Follow Suit
Stranger--boy Can You Direct Me To The Bank
I'll Never Ask Another Woman To Marry Me As Long As I Live
Newlywed-what Do Bachelors Know About Women
What Makes Your Sister So Stout Now She Used To Be Very Thin
A Man Stole A Harness The Other Day And Never Left A Trace
Smith--they Say That After A Time The Engineer Of A Limited Flyer Loses His Nerve
In This Glorious Land Of The Free You Always Have To Pay For The Drinks In Order To Get A Whack At The Free Lunch
She--i Had A $5 Bill In This Dictionary Yesterday And I Can't Find It Anywhere
What Was The Subject Of Your Debate This Evening