Most Viewed

Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


Least Viewed

What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




What have you here

Puns Home









"What have you here?" asked the fresh young man of the waiter at

a first-class restaurant.



"Everything, sir."



"Everything?" sneeringly, "Have it served at once."



"Hash for one," yelled the waiter.











Next: When we first dined at a cafe We feared they'd drop their trays but later We learned somewhat to our dismay It takes--as scores of men will say-- A big tip to upset a waiter

Previous: I'm the champion long distance cornet player



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Viewed 1830



Puns

What Sort Of Labor Is Best Paid In This Country
Nothing Can Make A Woman So Superlatively Happy As To Have A Baby Of Her Own To Kiss Exclaimed Mrs
Anything New In Your Neighborhood
Young M
A Queen Was She--the Beautiful Maid-- Beauty Or Wealth She Did Not Lack-- But The Game Was Euchre That Cupid Played And The Queen Was Won By A Jack
She Thinks That Her Husband Is Very Economical
Bacon--what's That Thread Tied About Your Little Finger For
Where Are You Going My Pretty Maid
It Was This A-way Jedge: Ye See I Doled De Cards And Jim Brown He Had A Pah Of Aces And A Pah Of Kings
An Old Lady, Being Told That A Certain Lawyer Was Lying
Pa Said Little Williewho Had Been Reading A Treatise On
Another Great Discovery Of Diamonds In Kentucky
Poor Lot's Wife Turned To Salt Alas
Brown--i Hear That They Use All Sorts Of Materials In The Manufacture Of Illuminating Gas Nowadays
They Cannot Be Complete In Aught Who Are Not Humorously Prone; A Man Without A Merry Thought Can Hardly Have A Funny Bone
She--they Say That Your Father Is A Millionaire
An Irishman Was Planting Shade Trees When A Passing Lady Said: You're Digging Out The Holes Are You Mr
Girls And Billiard Balls Kiss Each Other With Just About The Same Amount Of Real Feeling
We Have German Bands And French Bands And American Bands But You Never Hear Of An Irish Band
Some Men Divide Their Lives Between Trying To Forget And Trying To Recover From The Effects Of Trying To Forget
When The Penniless Lordling To Get A Rich Wife Of His Own Nationality Fails He Crosses The Ocean With Heart Light And Gay And Robs The United States Males
Why Do You Call Your Dog Hardware
I Saw Some Delicious Apples Growing On A Tree This Morning
How Did You Cure Your Boy Of Swearing
Who Was The First One That Came From The Ark When It Landed