Most Viewed

Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Ah
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Mrs
How Are You To-day


Least Viewed

What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




What have you here

Puns Home









"What have you here?" asked the fresh young man of the waiter at

a first-class restaurant.



"Everything, sir."



"Everything?" sneeringly, "Have it served at once."



"Hash for one," yelled the waiter.











Next: When we first dined at a cafe We feared they'd drop their trays but later We learned somewhat to our dismay It takes--as scores of men will say-- A big tip to upset a waiter

Previous: I'm the champion long distance cornet player



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Viewed 2001



Puns

Visitor--i Suppose You Have A Great Deal Of Poetry Sent Into You For Publication
There Is A Presbyterian In Jersey City So Openly Opposed To Baptism By Immersion That He Refuses To Carry A Waterbury Watch
The Landlord Came To Mrs
Pat--'twas The Divil Of A Blow The Dago Gave Yer
She--you Say Your Automobile Has Been Acting Strangely All Day
I'm The Champion Long Distance Cornet Player
Take Away My First Letter Take Away My Second Letter Take Away All My Letters And I Am Still The Same
Biggs--i Hear The Jail Was Afire This Morning
I Know A Man Who Says He Can't Sit Down And He Can't Stand Up
Dearest Whispered Cordelia After She Had Captured The Coveted Solitaire I Have A Confession To Make
Kind Lady Remarked The Weary Wayfarer Can You Oblige Me With Something To Eat
In This Glorious Land Of The Free You Always Have To Pay For The Drinks In Order To Get A Whack At The Free Lunch
He Seems To Have Gone To The Bad Completely
My Friend Said The Long-coated Old Man Solemnly Have You Made Preparation For The Day Of Judgment
Why Do You Call Him 'mr
Gee I Just Made A Bad Break Murmured The Chef As He Threw Away Some Rotten Eggs
How To Signal A Bark--pull A Dog's Tail
The Impecunious Young Man Who Marries A Girl With A Substantial Check Attached May Very Properly Be Said To Have Been Checkmated
It's A Dridful Bother To Me That I Have To Be Sewing Buttons On Me Own Clothes
I Want To Get A Head Of Cabbage Said The Man Who Had Been Sent To Market
Moses Schaumburg (to His Son Jackey)--how Many Are Twice Two Jackey
Tommy--pa Did You Really Mean It When You Said You'd Spank Anyone That Broke That Vase
What's The Matter With Smith
--no Matter How High An Awning May Be Suspended It Is Only A Shade Above The Street
Jones The Dentist Ought To Make A Good Poker Player