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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




What must a man be that he shall be buried with military honors

Puns Home











"What must a man be that he shall be buried with military

honors?"



"He must be a captain."



"Then I lose the bet."



"What did you bet?"



"I bet he must be dead."











Next: ACTOR FRIEND (inquiring at boarding house)--Has Mr

Previous: If the devil lost its tail where would he go to get another one



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Puns

Mrs
First Comedian--did You Score A Hit With Your New Specialty
How Could You Endure Talking So Long With That Ugly Old Woman With That Frightful Costume Without Laughing In Her Face
Dearest She Murmured I'm So Afraid You'll Change
Some Men Get Up With The Lark While Others Want A Swallow The First Thing In The Morning
Don't Talk To Me About Compulsory Vaccination
I Suppose Barnum Went To Heaven When He Died
Thin Boarder--i Don't See How You Manage To Fare So Well At This Boarding-house
Telephone Operators Are Always Bound To Have The Last Word; That's Why Females Are Always Employed In That Capacity
Where Are You Going My Pretty Maid
She Thinks That Her Husband Is Very Economical
He Called Her An Angel Before They Were Wed But That Alas
You Should Sleep On Your Right Side Madam
Do You Believe In Transmigration Of Souls
There's A Young Woman Who Makes Little Things Count
Is Your Friend The Dentist A Society Chap
Haughty Lady--(who Has Purchased A Stamp)-must I Put It On Myself
We're All Often Forced To Rob Peter In Order To Settle With Paul But Some Of Us Merely Rob Peter And Paul Never Sees Us At All
A Poacher Surprised At His Work And Pursued In His Escape By A Vengefully Thrown Axe Remarked As He Vaulted A Fence: I Have No Fault To Find With Your Remarks But I Object To The Axe-sent
Mistress--i Am Not Quite Satisfied With Your References
Tomdick--i'd Like To Find Some Girl Willing To Marry Me
The Pugilist Boxes His Man Before He Lays Him Out
He--i Saw You Out Driving Yesterday With A Gentleman
When Lot Found His Wife Transformed Into A Pillar Of Salt He Was Wise Enough To Let It Go At That And Not Take A Fresh One
Teacher--johnny Can You Tell Me What A Section Boss Is