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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Ah
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




Why did you insist on only $99000 a year as your salary

Puns Home











"Why did you insist on only $99,000 a year as your salary?"



"Because," answered the high financier, "as soon as people hear a

hundred thousand mentioned they get suspicious. It is better to

keep the figure marked down a little."











Next: Tom--I kissed her when she wasn't looking

Previous: He has none of the finer sensibilities nothing to distinguish him from the common herd



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Puns

As The Umpire Shouted Three Balls
Yankee--i Say Britisher Can You Spell Horse
Little Willie--papa Why Does The Railway Company Have Those Cases With The Ax And Saw In Every Car
A Farmer Once Called His Cow Zephyr She Seemed Such An Amiable Hephyr
There's A Young Woman Who Makes Little Things Count
Swatter--i See You Are Mentioned In One Of The Books Just Published
Kid--did The Dogs Ever Bite You
Tommy--pa Did You Really Mean It When You Said You'd Spank Anyone That Broke That Vase
Some Men Divide Their Lives Between Trying To Forget And Trying To Recover From The Effects Of Trying To Forget
Do You Think The Elevator Boy Stole Your Watch
Boy (with New Gun)--pa Has A Cat Got Nine Lives
Mrs
Husband--i Am Going To Buy Two Little Children
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
The Stork Is A Bird With A Great Big Bill; He Brings Us The Babies Whenever He Will; Then Comes The Doctor And When He Is Through You Find That He Has A Big Bill Too
We Mustn't Kiss The Baby We Mustn't Kiss The Kid We Mustn't Kiss The Dainty Miss So Scientists Affirm; To Pounce Upon And Wrastle Us There Waits The Awful Bacillus The Sempiternal Most Infernal Omnipresent Germ
A Man And His Bride By The Parson Were Tied And When The Performance Was Done Alas
She--i Had A $5 Bill In This Dictionary Yesterday And I Can't Find It Anywhere
Mother May I Go Out To Wheel
Sibly--when Steve Proposed To Me He Acted Like A Fish Out Of Water
She Heard The Fog-horn Blowing And What Is That
There Was A Terrible Murder In The Hotel To-day
Yes I Have Seen The Day When Mr
A Man Who Had Not The Best Reputation For Strict Veracity Died The Other Day And The Family Was Greatly Incensed Because Some Well-meaning Friends Sent In A Broken Lyre As A Floral Tribute
Brown--i Hear That They Use All Sorts Of Materials In The Manufacture Of Illuminating Gas Nowadays