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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




Why do you call your dog hardware

Puns Home









"Why do you call your dog hardware?"



"Because when I go to whip him he makes a bolt for the door."











Next: HUSBAND--That ice box of ours reminds me of a good pinochle player

Previous: The rubber plant was rubb'ring round In a manner most absurd: The long green corn prickled up her ears And this is what she heard: Wot's tomato wid you you beat



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Puns

--i Met A Deaf And Dumb Man To-day Who Had Every Joint Of His Fingers Broken
He Who Courts And Goes Away May Court Again Another Day; But He Who Weds And Courts Girls Still May Go To Court Against His Will
Old Jones Was Killed Last Night By A Dew-drop
I Hear They're Going To Change The Name Of Central Park To Orchard Park
That Tenor Of Yours Has A Marvelous Voice
Friend--do You Permit Your Wife To Have Her Own Way
Mrs
An Irishman Was Planting Shade Trees When A Passing Lady Said: You're Digging Out The Holes Are You Mr
Is A Howling Dog A Sign Of Death
Young Man Don't You Know You Ought To Lay Something By For A Rainy Day
Lawyers Practice At The Bar While Bartenders And Mosquitoes Practice Inside Of It
She--why Do They Call It An Arm Of The Sea
Customer--why Do You Call This Electric Cake
Gee I Just Made A Bad Break Murmured The Chef As He Threw Away Some Rotten Eggs
Tom--what's That
What In The World Shall I Do With The Baby John
I Suppose Barnum Went To Heaven When He Died
Did You Hear The Story About The Peacock
Take Away My First Letter Take Away My Second Letter Take Away All My Letters And I Am Still The Same
Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Some Men Are Easily Satisfied Remarked The Observer Of Events And Things
How Is Your House Heated
Dick--do You Think You'll Have Much Trouble In Popping The Question
Are You The Photographer