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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




Why do you call your dog hardware

Puns Home









"Why do you call your dog hardware?"



"Because when I go to whip him he makes a bolt for the door."











Next: HUSBAND--That ice box of ours reminds me of a good pinochle player

Previous: The rubber plant was rubb'ring round In a manner most absurd: The long green corn prickled up her ears And this is what she heard: Wot's tomato wid you you beat



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Puns

Some Men Are Easily Satisfied Remarked The Observer Of Events And Things
What's The Matter With Smith
The Hawk Was Dozing
Butcher--i Need A Boy About Your Size And Will Give You $1 A Week
What Is A Swell Affair Jim
Another Great Discovery Of Diamonds In Kentucky
Did You Go Into Any Of The New York Restaurants
Did You Hear About Miss Jones
I Cannot Play Second Fiddle To Any One
How Is Uncle Mose Coming On
An Emblem Of Tenuity We Witness Every Day; Behold The Corset-and You'll See The Whale-bone Comes To Stay
I See Villainy In Your Face Said A Judge To A Prisoner
Johnnie--ya-as I've Just Come Back From Ireland--county Cork
I've Been Pondering Over A Very Singular Thing
Brown--young Dudel's Body Has Been Recovered
I Was In The Depot Restaurant Of One Of The Great Railroads And Was Asked Why Am I Standing While Drinking My Coffee
What I Like About The Irish Is That They Are So Modest And Unassuming
He Has None Of The Finer Sensibilities Nothing To Distinguish Him From The Common Herd
Pat And Mike Each Wanted To Be First Up On St
I Hate A Liar Wiggins Cried Said Jiggins Then 'twould Seem You Really Ought To Try And Hide Your Lack Of Self-esteem
The House A Lawyer Once Enjoy'd
That Man Has Had Five Wives
My Friend Said The Long-coated Old Man Solemnly Have You Made Preparation For The Day Of Judgment
Do You Know George Papa Thinks You Are A Literary Man
Visitor--oh What A Nice Parrot You've Got