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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




Why so glum Blumly

Puns Home









"Why so glum, Blumly? Anything gone wrong?"



"Yes, I've just lost two of my best friends."



"By death or marriage?"



"Neither. I loaned them money."











Next: Little Mary quite contrary

Previous: If Pearl Street is crooked



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Puns

It's A Dridful Bother To Me That I Have To Be Sewing Buttons On Me Own Clothes
She--a Writer Says That In Order To Succeed A Man Must Be Ninety-five Per Cent
Gee I Just Made A Bad Break Murmured The Chef As He Threw Away Some Rotten Eggs
Hush Not So Loud
Where Are You Working Now
Did You Hear The Story About The Peacock
Mrs
Miss Prim Is A Very Proper Young Lady
Say Did You Ever Feel As If You Wanted To 'hit The Pipe
Permit Me Then To Die At Your Feet
My Friend Said The Long-coated Old Man Solemnly Have You Made Preparation For The Day Of Judgment
Mrs
In My Business Said The Stock Broker It Is Impossible To Succeed Without Pluck
Moses--how Did You Make Your Money Ike
So You Were Bound And Gagged By Bandits While In Italy Were You
A Lady Noticed A Boy Sprinkling Salt On The Sidewalk To Take Off The Ice And Remarked To A Friend Pointing To The Salt: Now That's True Benevolence
Widowhood Makes A Woman Unselfish
--i'm Very Sorry For That Boy
If A Woman Would Change Her Sex What Would Her Religion Be
A Teacher In A High School Asked A Little Wad Of An Irish Boy To Describe A Lake
I Don't Give A Rap Said The Coachman Haughtily As He Rang The Electric Bell
When Lot Found His Wife Transformed Into A Pillar Of Salt He Was Wise Enough To Let It Go At That And Not Take A Fresh One
You Are Absolutely Certain About Your Statement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
How To Signal A Bark--pull A Dog's Tail