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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Ah
Mrs
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




With cards and dice and dress and friends My savings are complete; I light the candle at both ends And thus make both ends meet

Puns Home











With cards and dice, and dress and friends,

My savings are complete;

I light the candle at both ends,

And thus make both ends meet.











Next: There goes a man who leads in letters

Previous: If you want to see a strong organization look at the whisky dealers; if you want to see a weak one look at the consumers



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Puns

Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws
They Caught The Burglars That Robbed The Hotel Last Night
Since I've Been Married I Don't Get Half Enough To Eat
These Verses Make No Sense Said She; I Can't Tell What They Mean
Guest--look Here Waiter Do You Call This A Spring Chicken
I Once Knew A Man Who With The Aid Of A Microscope Made A Harness For A Flea
Askit-what Is A Convenient Fall Trip For Me To Take
The Fact That A Man Has Not Cut His Hair For Ten Or Twelve Years Need Not Necessarily Imply That He Is Eccentric
A Husband And Wife Are Considered One But It Is Useless To Try To Work That Gag On The Landlord When He Presents The Board Bill
Well, Pat, And How Is That Bull-pup Of Yours Doing
A Woman Fell Overboard From A Ship Yesterday And A Shark Came Up And Looked Her Over And Went Away
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
Greene--these Wakes Of Yours Are Pretty Boisterous Affairs Sometimes
Why Do You Call Your Dog Hardware
Slopay--and Doctor If You Will I Wish You Would Give Me Something To Help My Memory
After Wedding A Rich Heiress Price Said Gambling's A Terrible Vice But One Thing I Know This Matching For Dough Is A Thing That's Exceedingly Nice
Playwright--there Is A Great Climax In The Last Act
It's Very Puzzling Said A Worried Looking Woman To One Of Her Neighbors
Some Men Divide Their Lives Between Trying To Forget And Trying To Recover From The Effects Of Trying To Forget
Jim--why Do You Wear Your Stocking Wrong Side Outward
Tommy Said Mamma Tearfully It Gives Me As Much Pain As It Does You To Punish You
What A Fearful Night I Had When I Drew This Gun The First Time
Stranger--boy Can You Direct Me To The Bank
She Wants To Be Punctual Always On Time So Carries Her Watch Where She Goes
Visitor--oh What A Nice Parrot You've Got