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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




You are absolutely certain about your statement

Puns Home











"You are absolutely certain about your statement?" asked the

lawyer.



"Absolutely certain," assented the witness.



"You swear that this is true?"



"I do."



"Would you bet on it?"



"Er--well--yes, if I got the right odds."











Next: Where did you get that hair on your coat

Previous: Have you received last month's gas bill dear



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Puns

He Has None Of The Finer Sensibilities Nothing To Distinguish Him From The Common Herd
He Dined Not Wisely But Too Well-- Hence All His Ills; And Nothing Now Agrees With Him Excepting Pills
He Seems To Have Gone To The Bad Completely
Little Mary Quite Contrary
Merchant (to His Confidential Clerk)--here's A Letter From Mr
Bluff A Little Bluff A Little As You Go Your Way; Bluffing May Not Always Help You-- Many Times It May
An Irishman Quarreling With An Englishman Told Him If He Didn't Hold His Tongue He Would Break His Impenetrable Head And Let His Brains Out Of His Empty Skull
A Lady One Day Being In Need Of Some Small Change Called Down-stairs To The Cook And Enquired: Mary Have You Any 'coppers' Down There
Judge--you Are Charged With Profanity
It's Been A Coal Day When You're Left Said The Kindling-wood To The Cinder
Hush Not So Loud
Oh Live And Let Live My Man
A Sporty Young Fellow Named Phipps Last Night Went To View The Eclipse
Charley Dear Said Young Mrs
Why Don't You Demand $50000 Instead Of $5000
An Irishman Wandering Up Fifth Avenue Saw In The Window Of A Photographer's Shop A Large Photograph Of Mephisto
Do You Know George Papa Thinks You Are A Literary Man
So Maude Is Happily Married
An Irishman Was Planting Shade Trees When A Passing Lady Said: You're Digging Out The Holes Are You Mr
Friend--do You Permit Your Wife To Have Her Own Way
It Was The Morning After And He Wanted A Small Favor
Mr
Full Many A Coat Tail That Is Long And Wide Does From The Public Gaze Two Monstrous Patches Hide
The Judge Asked An Irish Policeman Named O'connell When Did You Last See Your Sister
He--i'll Go To-morrow And Buy A Diamond Engagement Ring