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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
How Are You To-day

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What's The Matter Here
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws

You are absolutely certain about your statement

Puns Home

"You are absolutely certain about your statement?" asked the


"Absolutely certain," assented the witness.

"You swear that this is true?"

"I do."

"Would you bet on it?"

"Er--well--yes, if I got the right odds."

Next: Where did you get that hair on your coat

Previous: Have you received last month's gas bill dear

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Sillicus--do You Think We Shall Know Each Other In The Hereafter
We Don't Always Know Just How The Other Half Lives; But In Chicago The Better Half Lives On Her Alimony
Yes He's Got A Flying-machine Ready For A Trial Now And He's Trying Hard Not To Be Proud
Tommy--pa Did You Really Mean It When You Said You'd Spank Anyone That Broke That Vase
Did You Go Into Any Of The New York Restaurants
The Doctor--you Regard Society As Merely A Machine Do You
If You Should Die What Would You Do With Your Body
What Makes Your Sister So Stout Now She Used To Be Very Thin
He--you Saw Some Old Ruins While In England I Presume
Guest--what Have You Got
George You Look Exhausted She Said To Him As He Was Putting On His Hat And Coat
Seven Little Missionaries-- Horrible Their Fate-- Cannibals Picked Clean Their Bones Then They Were Ate
Sibly--when Steve Proposed To Me He Acted Like A Fish Out Of Water
You Should Sleep On Your Right Side Madam
A Notice At A Small Depot Near Manchester Reads: Passengers Are Requested To Cross Over The Railway By The Subway
It Is A Maine Husband Who Has Dubbed His Wife Crystal Because She Is Always On The Watch
I'll Pass The Butter Said He While Trying To Pass The Browsing Goat
You Own Your Own House Don't You
Some Fellows Marry Poor Girls To Settle Down And Others Marry Rich Ones To Settle Up
What Did De Lady Do When Yer Asked Her For An Old Collar
John--i Went Into A Restaurant To-day
What Is Love
I Wouldn't Stand For That If I Were You
You Were Thrown Out