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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Ah
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




You are absolutely certain about your statement

Puns Home











"You are absolutely certain about your statement?" asked the

lawyer.



"Absolutely certain," assented the witness.



"You swear that this is true?"



"I do."



"Would you bet on it?"



"Er--well--yes, if I got the right odds."











Next: Where did you get that hair on your coat

Previous: Have you received last month's gas bill dear



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Puns

Lady--why Do You Remove Your Sword Lieutenant
For Mercy Sake Don't Put Me Near Old Billions
As He Walked With Baby He Had To Confess That Marriage With Him Was A Howling Success
Kind Lady Remarked The Weary Wayfarer Can You Oblige Me With Something To Eat
You Were Thrown Out
Why So Glum Blumly
Nature Never Allows Anything To Run To Waist
When Were Walking-sticks First Invented
It Was This A-way Jedge: Ye See I Doled De Cards And Jim Brown He Had A Pah Of Aces And A Pah Of Kings
Mashington--what's The Matter With Your Clock
Fannie--why Do People Always Apply The Name Of She To A City
What Became Of That Girl You Made Love To In The Hammock
What I Like About The Irish Is That They Are So Modest And Unassuming
Alas For All Their Ecstasy They Knew Not What Was Best: The Young Man Reached The Front Door The Old Man Did The Rest
She Thinks That Her Husband Is Very Economical
A Teacher In A High School Asked A Little Wad Of An Irish Boy To Describe A Lake
My Girl's Father Is An Undertaker
Did You Know That Xanthippe Wife Of One Of The Greatest Of Ancient Philosophers Was A Great Scold
Castles In The Air Are Walled In By Fancy Remarked The Poet
According To A Florist's Magazine Jacks Are Becoming Cheap
I Hear They Are Trying To Close Up The Gambling Establishments In New York
She--you Say Your Automobile Has Been Acting Strangely All Day
Johnnie--ya-as I've Just Come Back From Ireland--county Cork
Old Jones Was Killed Last Night By A Dew-drop
She--are You Fond Of Tea