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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Ah
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




You are absolutely certain about your statement

Puns Home











"You are absolutely certain about your statement?" asked the

lawyer.



"Absolutely certain," assented the witness.



"You swear that this is true?"



"I do."



"Would you bet on it?"



"Er--well--yes, if I got the right odds."











Next: Where did you get that hair on your coat

Previous: Have you received last month's gas bill dear



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Puns

Said She How Beautiful Is Nature
I've Been Pondering Over A Very Singular Thing
Each Evening A Good-looking Mr
If You Should Die What Would You Do With Your Body
What Is The Plural Of Man Johnny
She--they Say The Eyes Are The Windows Of The Soul I Believe
I Asked A Young Lady Living On Her Pa's Farm What They Did With All Their Fruit
In My Business Said The Stock Broker It Is Impossible To Succeed Without Pluck
What Is Your Idea Of Happiness
A Husband And Wife Are Considered One But It Is Useless To Try To Work That Gag On The Landlord When He Presents The Board Bill
These Verses Make No Sense Said She; I Can't Tell What They Mean
It's A Good Idea To Make Light Of Your Troubles
I'd Like To See Your Mistress
Are You An Amateur Photographer
A Queen Was She--the Beautiful Maid-- Beauty Or Wealth She Did Not Lack-- But The Game Was Euchre That Cupid Played And The Queen Was Won By A Jack
She--i Had A $5 Bill In This Dictionary Yesterday And I Can't Find It Anywhere
She--you Look As Though You Had Raised Ned At Your Club Last Night
John--say Do You Want To Get Next To A Scheme For Making Money Fast
Did Your Sweetheart Receive You Warmly Last Night
I Was At The Track To-day Percy And There Was A Horse Down There With The Itch
Yes Said A Landlord Sadly Whose Tenant Had Made A Moonlight Flitting Appearances Are Deceitful; But Disappearances Are Still More So
An Irishman Was Planting Shade Trees When A Passing Lady Said: You're Digging Out The Holes Are You Mr
Yes He's Got A Flying-machine Ready For A Trial Now And He's Trying Hard Not To Be Proud
If Pearl Street Is Crooked
Mother--what Did Your Father Say When He Saw His Broken Pipe