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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




You know Fatty Schultz the butcher

Puns Home









"You know Fatty Schultz the butcher. What do you suppose he

weighs?"



"I don't know, what does he weigh?"



"Meat."











Next: I saw a sign in a hardware store to-day 'Cast iron sinks

Previous: He's a professional grafter



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Puns

Courtney--when You Proposed To Miss Dexter Did You Get Down On Your Knees
A Man Aroused His Wife From A Sound Sleep The Other Night Saying That He Had Seen A Ghost In The Shape Of A Donkey
What Makes Your Sister So Stout Now She Used To Be Very Thin
Where Are You Going My Pretty Maid
Why Do You Call Him 'mr
We Don't Always Know Just How The Other Half Lives; But In Chicago The Better Half Lives On Her Alimony
Ikey--fader Is Imbegunious Undt Inzolvent Der Same
Brown--peckhen Has Arrived Safe
Say Dad What Is An Expert Accountant
Only A Silver Watch Said The Pawnbroker
Did Any Of You Ever See An Elephant's Skin
An Irishman Quarreling With An Englishman Told Him If He Didn't Hold His Tongue He Would Break His Impenetrable Head And Let His Brains Out Of His Empty Skull
Brown--what Kind Of A Cigar Is That Old Man
What I Like About The Irish Is That They Are So Modest And Unassuming
--when Mrs
Did You Know That Xanthippe Wife Of One Of The Greatest Of Ancient Philosophers Was A Great Scold
Irish Foreman To Gang Of Men In A Sewer: How Many Men Is Down In That Hole
Lawyer: Have You Conscientious Scruples Against Serving As A Juror Where The Penalty Is Death
Slopay--and Doctor If You Will I Wish You Would Give Me Something To Help My Memory
Do You Believe In Transmigration Of Souls
My Son Said The Good Old Man If You Only Work Hard Enough When You Undertake A Thing You're Bound To Be At The Top When You've Finished
She--they Say That Your Father Is A Millionaire
I Am Told Said She Saucily That Though You Are A Military Man You Are Afraid Of Powder
That Man Has Had Five Wives
Lady--why Do You Remove Your Sword Lieutenant