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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




You treat me cried Mrs

Puns Home











"You treat me," cried Mrs. Peck, "as though I was a monkey!"



"Oh, no!" responded H. Peck, "One can train monkeys."











Next: My lord said the foreman of an Irish jury when giving in his verdict we find the man who stole the mare not guilty

Previous: Well, Pat, and how is that bull-pup of yours doing



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Puns

Do You Know George Papa Thinks You Are A Literary Man
You Are Absolutely Certain About Your Statement
Business Men Who Marry Their Typewriter Girls Are Apt To Find That The Young Women Are Not So Ready To Submit To Dictation After The Wedding
In This Glorious Land Of The Free You Always Have To Pay For The Drinks In Order To Get A Whack At The Free Lunch
A Beautiful Lassie Named Florence Once Wept Till Her Tears Flowed In Torence
Grace--fred And Mabel Are Not On Speaking Terms Any More
He Used To Send Her Roses; He Sent Them Every Hour But Now They're Married And He Sends Her Home A Cauliflower
They Caught The Burglars That Robbed The Hotel Last Night
The Judge Asked An Irish Policeman Named O'connell When Did You Last See Your Sister
He Seems To Have Gone To The Bad Completely
The Slats Of The Shutter Of Our Office-window Are In A Dilapidated Condition
A Cement Maker Advertises That His Cement Is Strong Enough To Mend The Break Of Day
What Have You Got To Say For Yourself
An Irishman Wandering Up Fifth Avenue Saw In The Window Of A Photographer's Shop A Large Photograph Of Mephisto
Do You Believe In Luck
Don't Doubt The Veteran Who Tells You He Was Always Where The Bullets Were Thickest; Perhaps He Was Hiding Under The Ammunition Wagon
Well, Pat, And How Is That Bull-pup Of Yours Doing
Say Dad What Is An Expert Accountant
Sentimental Wife--last Night I Dreamt That I Was In Heaven
After All You Know Said Mr
It Doesn't Do Any Good To Scold The Janitor About Our Cold Rooms
He Said To Her: You're Just A Bird
My Sister Had A Fright Yesterday
Mary Had A Little Waist Where Waists Were Meant To Grow And Everywhere The Fashions Went Her Waist Was Sure To Go
She--i Had A $5 Bill In This Dictionary Yesterday And I Can't Find It Anywhere