Most Viewed
Humility
The Gloomy Guest
Optimism
Physiology
Repentance
Hospitality
Baptism
A Lovers' Quarrel
Cleanliness
Beginners
Least Viewed
Appearance
Economy
Sympathy
Cause And Effect
Discretion
Sarcasm
What He Preferred
He Knew
Peace
Punishment
Random Stories Jokes
Property
Sympathy
Candor
Sympathy
Couldn't Resist It
Hearsay
Denied The Privilege
Prudence
A Humbling Sight
Sandy Scored
|
A Subtle Distinction
Stories Jokes Home
"I say--come and dance. This is a toppin' fox-trot they're playin'."
"Thanks--but I'm only waltzing this evening. We're still in mourning,
you know."
* * *
_Specialist_ (_to patient suffering from insomnia_): "And did you try
my plan of counting sheep coming through a gate?"
_Patient:_ "Well, I counted up to a hundred and twenty thousand and
thirty-nine, and then it was time to get up."
* * *
_Neighbor_ (_bearer of message, to billiard enthusiast_): "You're wanted
at 'ome, Charlie. Yer wife's just presented yer with another rebate off
yer income-tax."
* * *
_Joan_ (_whose mother has just bought her a pair of woolen gloves_):
"Oh, Mummy, I wish you had got kid. I hate this kind; they make my
sweets so hairy."
* * *
_Lady_ (_to applicant for situation as cook_): "Have you been accustomed
to have a kitchen-maid under you?"
_Cook:_ "In these days we never speak of having people 'under us.' But I
have had colleagues."
* * *
_Father:_ "Look here, Billy, Mr. Smith called at the office this morning
about your fight with his boy yesterday."
_Son:_ "Did he? I hope you got on as well as I did."
* * *
_Artist_ (_condescendingly_): "I did this last summer. It really isn't
much good."
_Candid Friend:_ "No, it certainly isn't. But who told you?"
* * *
Next: Blue Blood
Previous: Our Modern Infant
Viewed 599
|
Informational
