A Subtle Distinction

"I say--come and dance. This is a toppin' fox-trot they're playin'."



"Thanks--but I'm only waltzing this evening. We're still in mourning,

you know."



* * *



_Specialist_ (_to patient suffering from insomnia_): "And did you try

my plan of counting sheep coming through a gate?"



_Patient:_ "Well, I counted up to a hundred and tw nty thousand and

thirty-nine, and then it was time to get up."



* * *



_Neighbor_ (_bearer of message, to billiard enthusiast_): "You're wanted

at 'ome, Charlie. Yer wife's just presented yer with another rebate off

yer income-tax."



* * *



_Joan_ (_whose mother has just bought her a pair of woolen gloves_):

"Oh, Mummy, I wish you had got kid. I hate this kind; they make my

sweets so hairy."



* * *



_Lady_ (_to applicant for situation as cook_): "Have you been accustomed

to have a kitchen-maid under you?"



_Cook:_ "In these days we never speak of having people 'under us.' But I

have had colleagues."



* * *



_Father:_ "Look here, Billy, Mr. Smith called at the office this morning

about your fight with his boy yesterday."



_Son:_ "Did he? I hope you got on as well as I did."



* * *



_Artist_ (_condescendingly_): "I did this last summer. It really isn't

much good."



_Candid Friend:_ "No, it certainly isn't. But who told you?"



* * *