Argument
"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell
over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by
the leg."
"Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?"
"Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."
ART
An American tourist and his wife, after their return from abroa
, were
telling of the wonders seen by them at the Louvre in Paris. The husband
mentioned with enthusiasm a picture which represented Adam and Eve and
the serpent in the Garden of Eden, in connection with the eating of the
forbidden fruit. The wife also waxed enthusiastic, and interjected a
remark:
"Yes, we found the picture most interesting, most interesting indeed,
because, you see, we know the anecdote."
* * *
The Yankee tourist described glowingly the statue of a beautiful woman
which he had seen in an art museum abroad.
"And the way she stood, so up and coming, was grand. But," he added,
with a tone of disgust, "those foreigners don't know how to spell. The
name of the statue was Posish'--and it was some posish, believe me! and
the dumb fools spelt it--'Psyche!'"
* * *
"Tell me, does your husband snore?"
"Oh, yes, indeed--so delightfully."
"What?"
"Yes, really--he's so musical you know, his voice is baritone, he only
snores operatic bits, mostly _Aida_."
* * *
The packer from Chicago admired a picture by Rosa Bonheur.
"How much is that?" he demanded. The dealer quoted the price as $5,000.
"Holy pig's feet!" the magnate spluttered. "For that money, I can buy
live hogs and----"
His wife nudged him in the ribs, and whispered:
"Don't talk shop."