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"Would you like a lock of my hair?" asked the gallant old bachelor of
the spinster who had been a belle a few decades past.

"Why don't you offer me the whole wig?" the maiden lady gibed, with a
titter.

The bachelor retorted with icy disdain:

"You are very biting, madam, considering that your teeth are porcelain."

* * *

The young man, dancing with the girl to whom he had just been
introduced, remarked with the best of intentions, but rather
unfortunately:

"That's the new waltz. My sister was raving about it. I think it's
pretty bad. I expect she danced it with somebody rather nice."

* * *

In former times, when royalties were more important, a lady at a court
ball was intensely gratified when a prince selected her as a partner.
She was almost overwhelmed with pride when he danced a second measure
with her.

"Oh," she gushed, as she reposed blissfully in his arms, "your highness
does me too great honor."

The prince answered coldly:

"But no, madam. Merely, my physician has directed me to perspire."





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