The Gloomy Guest
Cause And Effect
What He Preferred
Played Them Both Up
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"Would you like a lock of my hair?" asked the gallant old bachelor of
the spinster who had been a belle a few decades past.
"Why don't you offer me the whole wig?" the maiden lady gibed, with a
The bachelor retorted with icy disdain:
"You are very biting, madam, considering that your teeth are porcelain."
* * *
The young man, dancing with the girl to whom he had just been
introduced, remarked with the best of intentions, but rather
"That's the new waltz. My sister was raving about it. I think it's
pretty bad. I expect she danced it with somebody rather nice."
* * *
In former times, when royalties were more important, a lady at a court
ball was intensely gratified when a prince selected her as a partner.
She was almost overwhelmed with pride when he danced a second measure
"Oh," she gushed, as she reposed blissfully in his arms, "your highness
does me too great honor."
The prince answered coldly:
"But no, madam. Merely, my physician has directed me to perspire."