The Gloomy Guest
Cause And Effect
What He Preferred
Played Them Both Up
Random Stories Jokes
Bad Both Ways
Declined With Thanks
True To Life
The Road To---- Etc
In Order To Be Filled
Stories Jokes Home
The foreman of a Southern mill, who was much troubled by the
shiftlessness of his colored workers, called sharply to two of the men
slouching past him.
"Hi, you! where are you going?"
"Well, suh, boss," one of them answered, "we is goin' to de mill wid
"Plank? What plank? Where's the plank?" the foreman demanded.
The colored spokesman looked inquiringly and somewhat surprisedly at his
own empty hands and those of his companion, whom he addressed
"Now, if dat don't beat all, George! If we hain't gone an' clean
forgitted dat plank!"
* * *
Two men met on the city street in the evening, and had a number of
drinks together. The one who lived in the suburbs became confidential,
and exhibited a string tied around a finger.
"I don't dare to go home," he explained. "There's something my wife told
me to do, without fail, and to make sure I wouldn't forget, she tied
that string around my finger. But for the life of me I can't remember
what the thing was I am to do. And I don't dare to go home!"
A few days later the two men met again, this time in the afternoon.
"Well," the one asked, "did you finally remember what that string was to
remind you of?"
The other showed great gloom in his expression, as he replied:
"I didn't go home until the next night, just because I was scared, and
then my wife told me what the string was for all right--she certainly
did!" There was a note of pain in his voice. "The string was to remind
me to be sure to come home early."
* * *
The clergyman drew near to the baptismal font, and directed that the
candidates for baptism should now be presented. A woman in the
congregation gave a gasp of dismay and turned to her husband, whom she
addressed in a strenuous whisper:
"There! I just knew we'd forget something. John, you run right home as
fast as you can, and fetch the baby."