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Life's Biggest Problem

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_Old Job:_ "The best way to get the most out of life is to fall in love
with a great problem or a beautiful woman!"

_Old Steve:_ "Why not choose the latter and get both?"

* * *

_He_ (_just introduced_): What a very homely person that gentleman near
the piano is, Mrs. Black!

_She:_ Isn't he? That is Mr. Black.

_He:_ How true it is, Mrs. Black, that the homely men always get the
prettiest wives!

* * *

A customer entered the small-town barber shop. "How soon can you cut my
hair?" he asked of the proprietor, who was seated in an easy chair,
perusing the pages of a novel.

"Bill," said the barber, addressing his errand boy, "run over and tell
the editor if he's done editin' the paper I'd like my scissors."

* * *

_Pompous Publisher_ (_to aspiring novice in literature_): I have been
reading your manuscript, my dear lady, and there is much in it, I
think--ahem!--very good. But there are parts somewhat vague. Now, you
should always write so that the most ignorant can understand.

_Youthful Authoress_ (_wishing to show herself most ready to accept
advice_): Oh, yes, I'm sure. But, tell me, which are the parts that have
given you trouble?

* * *





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