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_The Wife:_ "Really, my dear, you are awfully extravagant. Our neighbor,

Mr. Flint, is just twice as self-denying as you are."



_The Husband:_ "But he has just twice as much money to be self-denying

with."



* * *



"Jacky, dear, your hands are frightfully dirty."



"Not 'frightfully,' mummy. A lot of that's shading."

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* * *



_The Ant:_ "Well, we've struck!"



_The Gnat:_ "What for?"



_The Ant:_ "Longer hours."



* * *



_Effie:_ "George and I have been down-stairs in the dining-room, Mr.

Mitcham. We've been playing Husband and Wife!"



_Mr. Mitcham:_ "How did you do that, my dear?"



_Effie:_ "Why, Georgy sat at one end of the table, and I sat at the

other; and Georgy said, 'This food isn't fit to eat!' and I said, 'It's

all you'll get!' and Georgy said, 'Damn!' and I got up and left the

room!"



* * *



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