Most Viewed
Humility
The Gloomy Guest
Optimism
Physiology
Repentance
Hospitality
Baptism
A Lovers' Quarrel
Cleanliness
Beginners
Least Viewed
Appearance
Economy
Sympathy
Cause And Effect
Discretion
Sarcasm
What He Preferred
He Knew
Peace
Punishment
Random Stories Jokes
Blood Relations
Cause And Effect
Nomenclature
Slighted
Not Needed
Conditional
Poetry
Carelessness
Repentance
Baldness
|
Profiteers
Stories Jokes Home
The wife of the profiteer discoursed largely on the luxuries of the new
country estate.
"And, of course," she vouchsafed, "we have all the usual
animals--horses, cows, sheep, pigs, hens, and so forth."
"Oh, hens!" the listener gushed. "Then you'll have fresh eggs."
"Really, I'm not sure. The hens can work, if they like, but of course in
our position, it's quite unnecessary--er, perhaps not quite suitable,
you know."
* * *
The advertisement offered for fifty cents a recipe by which to whiten
the hands and soften them. Girls who sent the money received the
following directions:
"Soak the hands three times a day in dish water while mother rests."
* * *
"Are you sure this handbag is genuine crocodile skin?" the woman asked
the shopkeeper.
"Absolutely," was the reply. "I shot that crocodile myself."
"But it is badly soiled."
"Well, yes, of course. That's where it hit the ground, when it fell out
of the tree."
* * *
Customer: "But if it costs twenty dollars to make these watches, and you
sell them for twenty dollars, where does your profit come in?"
Shopkeeper: "That comes from repairing them."
Next: Progress
Previous: Profanity
Viewed 506
|
Informational
