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Seasickness

Stories Jokes Home




On the first morning of the voyage, the vessel ran into a nasty choppy
sea, which steadily grew worse. There were twenty-five passengers at the
captain's table for dinner, and he addressed them in an amiable
welcoming speech:

"I hope that all twenty-five of you will have a pleasant trip." The soup
appeared, and he continued: "I sincerely hope that this little assembly
of twenty-four will thoroughly enjoy the voyage. I look upon these
twenty-two smiling faces as a father upon his family, for I am
responsible for the safety of this group of seventeen. And now I ask
that all fourteen of you join me in drinking to a merry trip. Indeed, I
believe that we eight are most congenial, and I applaud the good fortune
that brought these three persons to my table. You and I, my dear sir,
are---- Here, steward, clear away all those dishes, and bring me the
fish."

* * *

The pair on their honeymoon were crossing the Channel, and the movement
of the waves seemed to be going on right inside the bride. In a fleeting
moment of internal calm she murmured pathetically to the bridegroom in
whose arms she was clasped:

"Oh, Jimmy, Jimmy, do you love me?"

"My darling!" he affirmed. "You know I love you with all my heart and
soul--I worship you, I adore you, my precious oontsy-woontsy!"

The boat reeled, and a sickening pang thrilled through all the
foundations of the bride's being.

"O dear, O dear!" she gasped. "I hoped that might help a little, but it
didn't--not a bit!"

* * *

The seasick voyager on the ocean bowed humbly over the rail and made
libation to Neptune. The kindly old gentleman who stood near remarked
sympathetically:

"You have a weak stomach."

The victim paused in his distressing occupation to snort indignantly:

"Weak? Humph! I guess I can throw as far as anybody on this ship."

* * *

The wife of the seasick passenger was about to leave the stateroom for
dinner. She inquired of her husband solicitously:

"George, shall I have the steward bring some dinner to you here?"

"No," was the reply, haltingly given between groans.

"But I wish, my dear, you would ask him to take it on deck and throw it
over the rail for me."

* * *

The moralizing gentleman at the club remarked ponderously:

"If there is anything in a man, travel will bring it out."

One who had just landed from a rough crossing agreed bitterly:

"Especially ocean travel."





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