Troublesome Customer

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A woman who had visited every department of one of the big London shops
and worried the majority of the salesmen without spending a penny, so
exasperated one of them that he ventured to make a mild protest.
"Madam," he asked, "are you shopping here?"

The lady looked surprised, but not by any means annoyed. "Certainly!"
she replied. "What else should I be doing?"

For a moment the salesman hesitated; then he blurted out, "Well, madam,
I thought perhaps you were taking an inventory!"

* * *

_Officer_ (_to sailor who has rescued him from drowning_): Thank you,
Smith. To-morrow I will thank you before all the crew at retreat.

_Sailor:_ Don't do that, sir, they'll half kill me!

* * *

_Steward:_ Can I do anything for you, sir?

_Passenger_ (_faintly_): You might present my compliments to the chief
engineer and ask him if there is any hope of the boilers blowing up.

* * *

_Lady_ (_to box office manager_): Can you tell me what they are playing
to-morrow night?

* * *

_Box Office Manager:_ "You Never Can Tell," Madam.

_Lady:_ Don't they even let you know?

* * *

_Village Idiot:_ Beg pardon, mam, seeing you're painting the church, I
thought I'd better tell you the clock is ten minutes fast.

* * *

_Employer_ (_rebuking employee for slackness_): Have you any idea of the
meaning of "Esprit de Corps"?

_Stenographer:_ No, I haven't, and if it's anything vulgar I don't want
to.

* * *

_Sympathetic Lady:_ What's the matter with your hand, my little man?

_Boy:_ Sawed the top of my finger off.

_Sympathetic Lady:_ Dear, dear, how did you do that?

_Boy:_ Sawing.

* * *

Next: Remembered
Previous: A Humbling Sight

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Troublesome Customer