Affecting Cruelty

A hard-fisted "old hunker," who has made $30,000 in fifty-one years, by

saving up rags, old iron, bones, soap-grease, snipping off the edges of

halves, quarters, and nine-pences, raised the whole neighborhood t'other

evening. He came across a full-faced Spanish ninepence, and in an

attempt to extract the jaw-teeth of the head, the poor thing squealed

so, that the bells rang, and the South End watchmen hollered fire for

about an hour! This "old gentleman" has a way of sweating the crosses

from a smooth fourpence, and makes them look so bran new, that he passes

them for ten cent pieces! One case of his benevolence is "worthy of all

praise;" he recently gave away to a poor Irishman's family, a bunch of

cobwebs, and an old hat he had worn since the battle of Bunker Hill;

upon these bounties the Irishman started into business; he boiled the

hunker's hat, and it yielded a bar of soap and a dozen tallow candles!

If old Smearcase continues to fool away his hard-earned wealth in that

manner, his friends ought to buy an injunction on his will!