A Bad Crop
AFTER a long drought, there fell a torrent of rain; and a country
gentleman observed to Sir John Hamilton, This is a most delightful
rain; I hope it will bring up everything out of the ground.--By
Jove, sir, said Sir John, I hope not; for I have sowed three wives in
it, and I should be very sorry to see them come up again.
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'mine's A Good 'un Too' Rejoined He; 'and I'll Trot You To
Hampton-wick for a pot o' beer.' I declined the match; and the butcher's boy, as he stuck his single spur into his horse's side, exclaimed, with a look of contempt, 'I thought you were only a muff!' ... 'nice
... 'pretty Fair' Was My
... 1dbeing 15l 9s 11d In Favor Of _chin-surveying_
... A Back-handed Hit
LORD DERBY once said that Ireland was positively worse than it is represented. That's intended, said A'Beckett, as a sinister insult to the members who represent that wretched country. ... A Bad Bargain
A MAN bought a horse on condition that he should pay half down, and be in debt for the remainder. A short time after, the seller demanding payment of the balance, the other answered, No; it was agreed that I should be in your debt for the remainder;... A Bad Crop
A SEEDSMAN being lately held to bail for using inflammatory language respecting the Reform Bill, a wag observed, it was probably in the line of his profession--to promote business, he wished to sow sedition. ... A Bad Crop
AFTER a long drought, there fell a torrent of rain; and a country gentleman observed to Sir John Hamilton, This is a most delightful rain; I hope it will bring up everything out of the ground.--By Jove, sir, said Sir John, I hope not; for I have sow... A Bad Customer
WE don't sell spirits, said a law-evading beer-seller; we will give you a glass; and then, if you want a biscuit, we'll sell it to you for three ha'pence. The good creature was handed down, a stiff glass swallowed, and the landlord handed his custom... A Bad End
IT was told of Jekyll, that one of his friends, a brewer, had been drowned in his own vat. Ah! he exclaimed, floating in his own watery bier. ... A Bad Example
A CERTAIN noble lord being in his early years much addicted to dissipation, his mother advised him to take example by a gentleman, whose food was herbs and his drink water. What! madam, said he, would you have me to imitate a man who eats like a bea... A Bad Harvest
THERE was much sound palpable argument in the speech of a country lad to an idler, who boasted his ancient family: So much the worse for you, said the peasant; as we ploughmen say, 'the older the seed the worse the crop.' ... A Bad Judge
UPON the occasion of the birth of the Princess Royal, the Duke of Wellington was in the act of leaving Buckingham Palace, when he met Lord Hill; in answer to whose inquiries about Her Majesty and the little stranger, his grace replied, Very fine chi... A Bad Label
TOM bought a gallon of gin to take home; and, by way of a label, wrote his name upon a card, which happened to be the seven of clubs, and tied it to the handle. A friend coming along, and observing the jug, quietly remarked: That's an awful careless... A Bad Lot
THE household furniture of an English barrister, then recently deceased, was being sold, in a country town, when one neighbor remarked to another that the stock of goods and chattels appeared to be extremely scanty, considering the rank of the lawye... A Bad Medium
A MAN, who pretended to have seen a ghost, was asked what the ghost said to him? How should I understand, replied the narrator, what he said? I am not skilled in any of the dead languages. ... A Bad Pen
NATURE has written 'honest man' on his face, said a friend to Jerrold, speaking of a person in whom Jerrold's faith was not altogether blind. Humph! Jerrold replied, then the pen must have been a very bad one. ... A Bad Preacher
A CLERGYMAN, meeting a particular friend, asked him why he never came to hear him preach. He answered, I am afraid of disturbing your solitude. ... A Bad Shot
A COCKNEY being out one day amusing himself with shooting, happened to fire through a hedge, on the other side of which was a man standing. The shot passed through the man's hat, but missed the bird. Did you fire at me, sir? he hastily asked. O! no,... A Balance
PAY me that six-and-eightpence you owe me, Mr. Malrooney, said a village attorney. For what?--For the opinion you had of me.--Faith, I never had any opinion of you in all my life. ... A Banker's Check
ROGERS, when a certain M.P., in a review of his poems, said he wrote very well for a banker, wrote, in return, the following:-- They say he has no heart, and I deny it: He has a heart, and--gets his speeches by it. ...