Advice To A Dramatist
YOUR comedy I've read, my friend,
And like the half you've pilfered best;
But, sure, the Drama you might mend;
Take courage, man, and steal the rest!
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A Yankee Yarn
MR. DICKENS tells an American story of a young lady, who, being intensely loved by five young men, was advised to jump overboard, and marry the man who jumped in after her. Accordingly, next morning, the five lovers being on deck, and looking very d... A Yokshire Bull
A YORKSHIRE clergyman, preaching for the Blind Asylum, began by gravely remarking: If all the world were blind, what a melancholy sight it would be! ... A-liquid
PORSON, once conversing with a party of congenial friends, seemed at a loss for something to cheer the inward man, and drawing his glass mechanically towards him, he took up one bottle, and then another, without finding wherewithal to replenish. A f... Above Proof
AN East-India Governor having died abroad, his body was put in arrack, to preserve it for interment, in England. A sailor on board the ship being frequently drunk, the captain forbade the purser, and indeed all in the ship, to let him have any liquo... Absurdly Logical
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A MAN in a passion spoke many scurrilous words; a friend being by, said, You speak foolishly. He answered, It is that you may understand me. ... Accommodating Principles
IN one of Sir Robert Walpole's letters, he gives a very instructive picture of a skilful minister and a condescending Parliament. My dear friend, writes Sir Robert, there is scarcely a member whose purse I do not know to a sixpence, and whose very s... Accurate Description
A CERTAIN lawyer received a severe injury from something in the shape of a horsewhip. Where were you hurt? said a medical friend. Was it near the vertebra?--No, no, said the other; it was near the racecourse. ... Acres And Wiseacres
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ON the trial of a cause in the Court of Common Pleas, Mr. Serjeant Vaughan having asked a witness a question rather of law than of fact, Lord Chief Justice Eldon observed, Brother Vaughan, this is not quite fair; you wish the witness to give you, fo... Advice To A Dramatist
YOUR comedy I've read, my friend, And like the half you've pilfered best; But, sure, the Drama you might mend; Take courage, man, and steal the rest! ... Advice To The Young
JERROLD said to an ardent young gentleman, who burned with a desire to see himself in print, Be advised by me, young man: don't take down the shutters before there is something in the window. ... Affectation
DELIA is twenty-two, and yet so weak, Poor thing, she's learning still to walk and speak. ... Agreeable And Not Complimentary
IN King William's time a Mr. Tredenham was taken before the Earl of Nottingham on suspicion of having treasonable papers in his possession. I am only a poet, said the captive, and those papers are my roughly-sketched play. The Earl examined the pape... Agricultural Experiences
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A LEARNED barrister, quoting Latin verses to a brother wig, who did not appear to understand them, added, Don't you know the lines? They are in Martial.--Marshall. Oh, yes; Marshall, who wrote on underwriting.--Not so bad, replied the other. After a... Alere Flamman
MRS. B---- desired Dr. Johnson to give his opinion of a new work she had just written, adding, that if it would not do, she begged him to tell her, for she had other irons in the fire, and in case of its not being likely to succeed, she could bring ... All The Difference
IN a large party, one evening, the conversation turned upon young men's allowance at college. Tom Sheridan lamented the ill-judging parsimony of many parents in that respect. I am sure, Tom, said his father, you need not complain; I always allowed y... All The Difference
A GLASGOW professor met a poor student passing along one of the courts, and remarked to him that his gown was very short. It will be long enough before I get another, answered the student. The reply tickled the professor's fancy so much that he cont... All The Same
IN Edinburgh resided a gentleman, who is as huge, though not so witty, as Falstaff. It is his custom when he travels to book two places, and thus secure half the inside to himself. He once sent his servant to book him to Glasgow. The man returned wi... Allegorical Representation
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TWO women scolding each other, one said, Thou liest like a thief and a witch. The other replies, But thou liest like an almanac-maker; for thou liest every day and all the year long. ...