Blotting It Out
MATHEWS'S attendant, in his last illness, intending to give him his
medicine, gave in mistake some ink from a phial on a shelf. On
discovering the error, his friend exclaimed, Good heavens! Mathews, I
have given you ink.--Never--never mind, my boy--never mind, said
Mathews, faintly, I'll swallow a bit--of blotting-paper.
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Bear And Van
THE facetious Mr. Bearcroft told his friend Mr. Vansittart, Your name is such a long one, I shall drop the sittart, and call you Van for the future.--With all my heart, said he: by the same rule, I shall drop croft, and call you Bear! ... Bearding A Barber
A HIGHLANDER, who sold brooms, went into a barber's shop in Glasgow to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, after having shaved him, asked the price of it. Tippence, said the Highlander. No, no, says the shaver; I'll give you a penn... Ben Jonson
WHEN the Archbishop of York sent him from his table an excellent dish of fish, but without drink, said:-- In a dish came fish From the arch-bis- Hop was not there, Because there was no beer. ... Benefit Of Competition
POPE, when he first saw Garrick act, observed, I am afraid that the young man will be spoiled, for he will have no competitor! ... Better Known Than Trusted
A WELL-KNOWN borrower stopped a gentleman whom he did not know, and requested the loan of a sovereign. Sir, said the gentleman, I am surprised that you should ask me such a favor, who do not know you.--O, dear sir, replied the borrower, that's the v... Betting
THE folly of betting is well satirized in one of Walpole's Letters: Sept. 1st, 1750,--They have put in the papers a good story made at White's. A man dropped down dead at the door, and was carried in; the club immediately made bets whether he was de... Bewick The Engraver
WHEN the Duke of Northumberland first called to see Mr. Bewick's workshops at Newcastle, he was not personally known to the engraver. On discovering the high rank of his visitor, Bewick exclaimed, I beg pardon, my lord, I did not know your grace, an... Bill Paid In Full
AT Wimpole there was to be seen a portrait of Mr. Harley, the speaker, in his robes of office. The active part he took to forward the bill to settle the crown on the house of Hanover induced him to have a scroll painted in his hand, bearing the titl... Billy Brown And The Counsellor
WHEN Mr. Sheridan pleaded in court his own cause, and that of the Drury Lane Theatre, an Irish laborer, known amongst the actors by the name of Billy Brown, was called upon to give his evidence. Previous to his going into court, the counsellor, shoc... Black And White
DURING the short time that Lord Byron was in Parliament, a petition, setting forth the wretched condition of the Irish peasantry, was one evening presented, and very coldly received by the hereditary legislative wisdom.--Ah, said Lord Byron, what a ... Black And White
THE Tories vow the Whigs are black as night, And boast that they are only blessed with light. Peel's politics to both sides so incline, He may be called the equinoctial line. ... Black Letter
AN old friend of Charles Lamb having been in vain trying to make out a black-letter text of Chaucer in the Temple Library, laid down the precious volume, and with an erudite look told Lamb that in those old books, Charley, there is sometimes a deal ... Black Oils
WHAT'S the matter? inquired a passer-by, observing a crowd collected around a black fellow, whom an officer was attempting to secure, to put on board an outward-bound whale ship, from which he had deserted. Matter! matter enough, exclaimed the delin... Blank Cartridge
EPIGRAM on the occasion of the duel between Tom Moore, the poet, and Francis Jeffrey:-- When Anacreon would fight, as the poets have said, A reverse he displayed in his vapor, For while all his poems were loaded with lead, Hi... Blotting It Out
MATHEWS'S attendant, in his last illness, intending to give him his medicine, gave in mistake some ink from a phial on a shelf. On discovering the error, his friend exclaimed, Good heavens! Mathews, I have given you ink.--Never--never mind, my boy--... Blowing A Nose
SIR WILLIAM CHERE had a very long nose, and was playing at backgammon with old General Brown. During this time, Sir William, who was a snuff-taker, was continually using his snuff-box. Observing him leaning continually over the table, and being at t... Boswell's Life Of Johnson
WHEN Boswell's Life of Johnson, first made its appearance, Boswell was so full of it that he could neither think nor talk of anything else: so much so, that meeting Lord Thurlow hurrying through Parliament Street to get to the House of Lords, where ... Braham And Kenney
THE pride of some people differs from that of others. Mr. Bunn was passing through Jermyn Street, late one evening, and seeing Kenney at the corner of St. James's Church, swinging about in a nervous sort of manner, he inquired the cause of his being... Bred On The Boards
WHEN Morris had the Haymarket Theatre, Jerrold, on a certain occasion, had reason to find fault with the strength, or rather, the want of strength, of the company. Morris expostulated, and said, Why there's V----, he was bred on these boards!--He lo... Brevity
DR. ABERNETHY, the celebrated physician, was never more displeased than by hearing a patient detail a long account of troubles. A woman, knowing Abernethy's love of the laconic, having burned her hand, called at his house. Showing him her hand, she ... Brevity Of Charity
BREVITY is in writing what charity is to all other virtues. Righteousness is worth nothing without the one, nor authorship without the other. ... Brief Correspondence
MRS. FOOTE, mother of Aristophanes, experienced the caprice of fortune nearly as much as her son. The following laconic letters passed between them: Dear Sam, I am in prison.--Answer: Dear mother, so am I. ... Brief Let It Be
WHEN Baron Martin was at the Bar and addressing the Court of Exchequer in an insurance case, he was interrupted by Mr. Baron Alderson observing: Mr. Martin, do you think any office would insure your life? Remember, yours is a brief existence. ... Bright And Sharp
A LITTLE boy having been much praised for his quickness of reply, a gentleman present observed, that when children were keen in their youth, they were generally stupid and dull when they were advanced in years, and vice versa. What a very sensible b... Bringing His Man Down
ROGERS used to relate this story: An Englishman and a Frenchman fought a duel in a darkened room. The Englishman, unwilling to take his antagonist's life, generously fired up the chimney, and--brought down the Frenchman. When I tell this story in Fr... Brotherly Love
AH! said a conceited young parson, I have this afternoon been preaching to a congregation of asses.--Then that was the reason why you always called them beloved brethren, replied a strong-minded lady. ... Brotherly Love
AN affectionate Irishman once enlisted in the 75th Regiment, in order to be near his brother, who was a corporal in the 76th. ... Brutal Affections
THE attachment of some ladies to their lap-dogs amounts, in some instances, to infatuation. An ill-tempered lap-dog biting a piece out of a male visitor's leg, his mistress thus expressed her compassion: Poor little dear creature! I hope it will not...