Braham And Kenney
THE pride of some people differs from that of others. Mr. Bunn was
passing through Jermyn Street, late one evening, and seeing Kenney at
the corner of St. James's Church, swinging about in a nervous sort of
manner, he inquired the cause of his being there at such an hour. He
replied, I have been to the St. James's Theatre, and, do you know, I
really thought Braham was a much prouder man than I find him to be. On
asking why, he answered, I was in the green-room, and hearing Braham
say, as he entered, 'I am really proud of my pit to-night,' I went and
counted it, and there were but seventeen people in it.
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Bear And Van
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A HIGHLANDER, who sold brooms, went into a barber's shop in Glasgow to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, after having shaved him, asked the price of it. Tippence, said the Highlander. No, no, says the shaver; I'll give you a penn... Ben Jonson
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A WELL-KNOWN borrower stopped a gentleman whom he did not know, and requested the loan of a sovereign. Sir, said the gentleman, I am surprised that you should ask me such a favor, who do not know you.--O, dear sir, replied the borrower, that's the v... Betting
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WHEN the Duke of Northumberland first called to see Mr. Bewick's workshops at Newcastle, he was not personally known to the engraver. On discovering the high rank of his visitor, Bewick exclaimed, I beg pardon, my lord, I did not know your grace, an... Bill Paid In Full
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DURING the short time that Lord Byron was in Parliament, a petition, setting forth the wretched condition of the Irish peasantry, was one evening presented, and very coldly received by the hereditary legislative wisdom.--Ah, said Lord Byron, what a ... Black And White
THE Tories vow the Whigs are black as night, And boast that they are only blessed with light. Peel's politics to both sides so incline, He may be called the equinoctial line. ... Black Letter
AN old friend of Charles Lamb having been in vain trying to make out a black-letter text of Chaucer in the Temple Library, laid down the precious volume, and with an erudite look told Lamb that in those old books, Charley, there is sometimes a deal ... Black Oils
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EPIGRAM on the occasion of the duel between Tom Moore, the poet, and Francis Jeffrey:-- When Anacreon would fight, as the poets have said, A reverse he displayed in his vapor, For while all his poems were loaded with lead, Hi... Blotting It Out
MATHEWS'S attendant, in his last illness, intending to give him his medicine, gave in mistake some ink from a phial on a shelf. On discovering the error, his friend exclaimed, Good heavens! Mathews, I have given you ink.--Never--never mind, my boy--... Blowing A Nose
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WHEN Boswell's Life of Johnson, first made its appearance, Boswell was so full of it that he could neither think nor talk of anything else: so much so, that meeting Lord Thurlow hurrying through Parliament Street to get to the House of Lords, where ... Braham And Kenney
THE pride of some people differs from that of others. Mr. Bunn was passing through Jermyn Street, late one evening, and seeing Kenney at the corner of St. James's Church, swinging about in a nervous sort of manner, he inquired the cause of his being... Bred On The Boards
WHEN Morris had the Haymarket Theatre, Jerrold, on a certain occasion, had reason to find fault with the strength, or rather, the want of strength, of the company. Morris expostulated, and said, Why there's V----, he was bred on these boards!--He lo... Brevity
DR. ABERNETHY, the celebrated physician, was never more displeased than by hearing a patient detail a long account of troubles. A woman, knowing Abernethy's love of the laconic, having burned her hand, called at his house. Showing him her hand, she ... Brevity Of Charity
BREVITY is in writing what charity is to all other virtues. Righteousness is worth nothing without the one, nor authorship without the other. ... Brief Correspondence
MRS. FOOTE, mother of Aristophanes, experienced the caprice of fortune nearly as much as her son. The following laconic letters passed between them: Dear Sam, I am in prison.--Answer: Dear mother, so am I. ... Brief Let It Be
WHEN Baron Martin was at the Bar and addressing the Court of Exchequer in an insurance case, he was interrupted by Mr. Baron Alderson observing: Mr. Martin, do you think any office would insure your life? Remember, yours is a brief existence. ... Bright And Sharp
A LITTLE boy having been much praised for his quickness of reply, a gentleman present observed, that when children were keen in their youth, they were generally stupid and dull when they were advanced in years, and vice versa. What a very sensible b... Bringing His Man Down
ROGERS used to relate this story: An Englishman and a Frenchman fought a duel in a darkened room. The Englishman, unwilling to take his antagonist's life, generously fired up the chimney, and--brought down the Frenchman. When I tell this story in Fr... Brotherly Love
AH! said a conceited young parson, I have this afternoon been preaching to a congregation of asses.--Then that was the reason why you always called them beloved brethren, replied a strong-minded lady. ... Brotherly Love
AN affectionate Irishman once enlisted in the 75th Regiment, in order to be near his brother, who was a corporal in the 76th. ... Brutal Affections
THE attachment of some ladies to their lap-dogs amounts, in some instances, to infatuation. An ill-tempered lap-dog biting a piece out of a male visitor's leg, his mistress thus expressed her compassion: Poor little dear creature! I hope it will not... Buried Worth
SIR THOMAS OVERBURY says, that the man who has not anything to boast of but his illustrious ancestors, is like a potato,--the only good belonging to him is underground. ... Burke And Fox
MR. BURKE, in speaking of the indisposition of Mr. Fox, which prevented his making a motion for an investigation into the conduct of Lord Sandwich, said, No one laments Mr. Fox's illness more than I do; and I declare that if he should continue ill, ... Burke's Tediousness
THOUGH upon great occasions Burke was one of the most eloquent of men that ever sat in the British senate, he had in ordinary matters as much as any man the faculty of tiring his auditors. During the latter years of his life the failing gained so mu... Business And Pleasure
A QUAKER (says Hood) makes a pleasure of his business, and then, for relaxation, makes a business of his pleasure. ... Busy Bodies
A MASTER of a ship called out, Who is below? A boy answered, Will, sir.--What are you doing?--Nothing, sir.--Is Tom there?--Yes, said Tom. What are you doing?--Helping Will, sir. ... But One Good Translation
DRYDEN'S translation of Virgil being commended by a right reverend bishop, Lord Chesterfield said, The original is indeed excellent; but everything suffers by a translation,--except a bishop! ...