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Done For
TWO gentlemen were lately examining the breast of a plough on a stall in
a market-place. I'll bet you a crown, said one, you don't know what
it's for.--Done, said the other. It is for sale. The bet was
paid.
Domestic Economy
Double Sight
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Dodging A Creditor
A CREDITOR, whom he was anxious to avoid, met Sheridan coming out of Pall Mall. There was no possibility of avoiding him, but he did not lose his presence of mind. That's a beautiful mare you are on! said Sheridan. Do you think so?--Yes, indeed! how...
Dog-matic
IN the great dispute between South and Sherlock, the latter, who was a great courtier, said, His adversary reasoned well, but he barked like a cur. To which the other replied, That fawning was the property of a cur as well as barking. ...
Dogmatism
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Doing Homage
RETURNING from hunting one day, George III. entered affably into conversation with his wine-merchant, Mr. Carbonel, and rode with him side by side a considerable way. Lord Walsingham was in attendance; and watching an opportunity, took Mr. Carbonel ...
Domestic Economy
THE following bill of fare (which consists of a dish of fish, a joint of meat, a couple of fowls, vegetables, and a pudding, being in all seven dishes for sevenpence!) had its rise in an invitation which a young lady of forty-seven sent to her lover...
Done For
TWO gentlemen were lately examining the breast of a plough on a stall in a market-place. I'll bet you a crown, said one, you don't know what it's for.--Done, said the other. It is for sale. The bet was paid. ...
Double Sight
A MAN with one eye laid a wager with another man, that he (the one-eyed person) saw more than the other. The wager was accepted. You have lost, says the first; I can see the two eyes in your face, and you can see only one in mine. ...
Dr Donne
DR. DONNE, the Dean of St. Paul's, having married a lady of a rich and noble family without the consent of the parents, was treated with great asperity. Having been told by the father that he was to expect no money from him, the doctor went home and...
Dr Glynn's Receipt For Dressing A Cucumber
DR. GLYNN, whose name is still remembered in Cambridge, being one day in attendance on a lady, in the quality of her physician, took the liberty of lecturing her on the impropriety of eating cucumber, of which she was immoderately fond, and gave her...
Dr Johnson
WHEN Dr. Johnson courted Mrs. Potter, whom he afterwards married, he told her that he was of mean extraction; that he had no money; and that he had had an uncle hanged! The lady, by way of reducing herself to an equality with the Doctor, replied, th...
Dr Johnson Without Variation
DR. JOHNSON was observed by a musical friend of his to be extremely inattentive at a concert, whilst a celebrated solo player was running up the divisions and sub-divisions of notes upon his violin. His friend, to induce him to take greater notice o...
Dr Johnson's Opinion Of Mrs Siddons
WHEN Dr. Johnson visited Mrs. Siddons, he paid her two or three very elegant compliments. When she retired, he said to Dr. Glover, Sir, she is a prodigiously fine woman.--Yes, replied Dr. Glover; but don't you think she is much finer upon the stage,...
Dr Sims
A GLORIOUS bull is related, in the life of Dr. Sims, of a countryman of his, an Irishman, for whom he had prescribed an emetic, who said with great naivete: My dear doctor, it is of no use your giving me an emetic! I tried it twice in Dublin, and it...
Dr Walcot's Application For Shield's Ivory Opera Pass
SHIELD, while the supplicating poor Ask thee for meat with piteous moans; More humble I approach thy door, And beg for nothing but thy bones. ...
Dr Walcot's Request For Ivory Tickets Sent To Shield The
COMPOSER. SON of the string (I do not mean Jack Ketch, Though Jack, like thee, produceth dying tones), Oh, yield thy pity to a starving wretch, And for to-morrow's treat pray send thy bones! ...
Dr Weather-eye
AN Irish gentleman was relating in company that he saw a terrible wind the other night. Saw a wind! said another, I never heard of a wind being seen. But, pray, what was it like!--Like to have blown my house about my ears, replied the first. ...
Dr Young
DR. YOUNG was walking in his garden at Welwyn, in company with two ladies (one of whom he afterwards married), when the servant came to acquaint him a gentleman wished to speak with him. As he refused to go, one lady took him by the right arm, the o...
Drinking Alone
THE author of the Parson's Daughter, when surprised one evening in his arm-chair, two or three hours after dinner, is reported to have apologized, by saying, When one is alone, the bottle does come round so often. On a similar occasion, Sir Hercules...