Dry But Not Thirsty
CURRAN, conversing with Sir Thomas Turton, happened to remark that he
could never speak in public for a quarter of an hour without moistening
his lips; to which Sir Thomas replied that, in that respect, he had the
advantage of him: I spoke, said he, the other night in the House of
Commons for five hours, on the Nabob of Oude, and never felt in the
least thirsty.--It is very remarkable indeed rejoined Curran, for
every one agrees that was the driest speech of the session.
More
-
Done For
TWO gentlemen were lately examining the breast of a plough on a stall in a market-place. I'll bet you a crown, said one, you don't know what it's for.--Done, said the other. It is for sale. The bet was paid. ... Double Sight
A MAN with one eye laid a wager with another man, that he (the one-eyed person) saw more than the other. The wager was accepted. You have lost, says the first; I can see the two eyes in your face, and you can see only one in mine. ... Dr Donne
DR. DONNE, the Dean of St. Paul's, having married a lady of a rich and noble family without the consent of the parents, was treated with great asperity. Having been told by the father that he was to expect no money from him, the doctor went home and... Dr Glynn's Receipt For Dressing A Cucumber
DR. GLYNN, whose name is still remembered in Cambridge, being one day in attendance on a lady, in the quality of her physician, took the liberty of lecturing her on the impropriety of eating cucumber, of which she was immoderately fond, and gave her... Dr Johnson
WHEN Dr. Johnson courted Mrs. Potter, whom he afterwards married, he told her that he was of mean extraction; that he had no money; and that he had had an uncle hanged! The lady, by way of reducing herself to an equality with the Doctor, replied, th... Dr Johnson Without Variation
DR. JOHNSON was observed by a musical friend of his to be extremely inattentive at a concert, whilst a celebrated solo player was running up the divisions and sub-divisions of notes upon his violin. His friend, to induce him to take greater notice o... Dr Johnson's Opinion Of Mrs Siddons
WHEN Dr. Johnson visited Mrs. Siddons, he paid her two or three very elegant compliments. When she retired, he said to Dr. Glover, Sir, she is a prodigiously fine woman.--Yes, replied Dr. Glover; but don't you think she is much finer upon the stage,... Dr Sims
A GLORIOUS bull is related, in the life of Dr. Sims, of a countryman of his, an Irishman, for whom he had prescribed an emetic, who said with great naivete: My dear doctor, it is of no use your giving me an emetic! I tried it twice in Dublin, and it... Dr Walcot's Application For Shield's Ivory Opera Pass
SHIELD, while the supplicating poor Ask thee for meat with piteous moans; More humble I approach thy door, And beg for nothing but thy bones. ... Dr Walcot's Request For Ivory Tickets Sent To Shield The
COMPOSER. SON of the string (I do not mean Jack Ketch, Though Jack, like thee, produceth dying tones), Oh, yield thy pity to a starving wretch, And for to-morrow's treat pray send thy bones! ... Dr Weather-eye
AN Irish gentleman was relating in company that he saw a terrible wind the other night. Saw a wind! said another, I never heard of a wind being seen. But, pray, what was it like!--Like to have blown my house about my ears, replied the first. ... Dr Young
DR. YOUNG was walking in his garden at Welwyn, in company with two ladies (one of whom he afterwards married), when the servant came to acquaint him a gentleman wished to speak with him. As he refused to go, one lady took him by the right arm, the o... Drinking Alone
THE author of the Parson's Daughter, when surprised one evening in his arm-chair, two or three hours after dinner, is reported to have apologized, by saying, When one is alone, the bottle does come round so often. On a similar occasion, Sir Hercules... Driving It Home
THE late James Fergusson, Clerk of Session, a most genial and amiable man, of whose periodical fits of absence most edifying stories are still repeated by his friends, was an excellent and eloquent speaker, but in truth, there was often more sound t... Droll To Order
ONE evening, a lady said to a small wit, Come, Mr. ----, tell us a lively anecdote, and the poor fellow was mute during the remainder of the evening. Favor me with your company on Wednesday evening, you are such a lion, said a weak party-giver to a ... Dry But Not Thirsty
CURRAN, conversing with Sir Thomas Turton, happened to remark that he could never speak in public for a quarter of an hour without moistening his lips; to which Sir Thomas replied that, in that respect, he had the advantage of him: I spoke, said he,... Dry Humor
AN Irish post-boy having driven a gentleman a long stage during torrents of rain, was asked if he was not very wet? Arrah! I wouldn't care about being very wet, if I wasn't so very dry, your honor. ... Dunning And Lord Mansfield
WHILST the celebrated Mr. Dunning, afterwards Lord Ashburton, was at the bar, he by his conduct did much to support the character and dignity of a barrister, which was frequently disregarded by Lord Mansfield, at that time Chief Justice. The attempt... Dunning And Lord Thurlow
WHEN it was the custom for barristers to leave chambers early, and to finish their evenings at the coffee-houses in the neighborhood of the inns of court, Lord Thurlow on some occasion wanted to see Dunning privately. He went to the coffee-house fre... Duplex Movement
A WORTHY alderman, captain of a volunteer corps, was ordering his company to fall back, in order to dress with the line, and gave the word, Advance three paces back-wards! march! ... Early Birds Of Prey
A MERCHANT having been attacked by some thieves at five in the afternoon, said: Gentlemen, you open shop early to-day. ... Early Habits
THERE was in Wilkes's time a worthy person, who had risen from the condition of a bricklayer to be an alderman of London. Among other of his early habits, the civic dignitary retained that of eating everything with his fingers. One day a choice bit ... Easily Answered
A CERTAIN Lord Mayor hearing of a gentleman who had had the small-pox twice, and died of it, asked, if he died the first time or the second. ... Easily Satisfied
A COWARDLY fellow having spoken impertinently to a gentleman, received a violent box of the ear. He demanded whether that was meant in earnest. Yes, sir, replied the other, without hesitation. The coward turned away, saying, I am glad of it, sir, fo... Ebenezer Adams
THIS celebrated Quaker, on visiting a lady of rank, whom he found six months after the death of her husband, sitting on a sofa covered with black cloth, and in all the dignity of woe, approached her with great solemnity, and gently taking her by the... Elegant Compliment
MR. HENRY ERSKINE, being one day in London, in company with the Duchess of Gordon, said to her, Are we never again to enjoy the honor and pleasure of your grace's society at Edinburgh?--O! answered her grace, Edinburgh is a vile dull place--I hate i... Elegant Retort
IT is a common occurrence in the University of Cambridge for the undergraduates to express their approbation or disapprobation of the Vice-Chancellor, on the resignation of his office. Upon an occasion of this kind, a certain gentleman had enacted s... Elliston And George Iv
IN 1824, when the question of erecting a monument to Shakespeare, in his native town, was agitated by Mr. Mathews and Mr. Bunn, the King (George IV.) took a lively interest in the matter, and, considering that the leading people of both the patent t... Eloquent Silence
YOU have already read that section four times, Mr. ----, said Maule to a prosing counsel. It's iteration! It's ----, I use no epithet, it is iteration; his look implying the anathema. ... Emperor Of China
SIR G. STAUNTON related a curious anecdote of old Kien Long, Emperor of China. He was inquiring of Sir George the manner in which physicians were paid in England. When, after some difficulty, his majesty was made to comprehend the system, he exclaim...