Landlord And Tenants
SAYS his landlord to Thomas, Your rent I must raise,
I'm so plaguily pinch'd for the pelf.
Raise my rent! replies Thomas; your honor's main good;
For I never can raise it myself.
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Keen Reply
A RETIRED vocalist, who had acquired a large fortune by marriage, was asked to sing in company. Allow me, said he, to imitate the nightingale, which does not sing after it has made its nest. ... Keeping A Conscience
THE great controversy on the propriety of requiring a subscription to articles of faith, as practised by the Church of England, excited at this time (1772) a very strong sensation amongst the members of the two universities. Paley, when pressed to s... Keeping A Promise
THUS, with kind words, Fairface cajoled his friend: Dear Dick! on me thou may'st assured depend; I know thy fortune is but very scant, But never will I see my friend in want. Dick soon in gaol, believed his friend would free him... Keeping It To Himself
BURKE once mentioned to Fox that he had written a tragedy. Did you let Garrick see it? inquired his friend: No, replied Burke; though I had the folly to write it, I had the wit to keep it to myself. ... Killed By His Own Remedy
THE surgeon of an English ship of war used to prescribe salt water for his patients in all disorders. Having sailed one evening on a party of pleasure, he happened by some mischance to be drowned. The captain, who had not heard of the disaster, aske... Kitchener And Colman
THE most celebrated wits and bon vivants of the day graced the dinner-table of the late Dr. Kitchener, and, inter alia, the late George Colman, who was an especial favorite; his interpolation of a little monosyllable in a written admonition which th... Knowing Best
I WISH, reverend father, said Curran to Father O'Leary, that you were St. Peter, and had the keys of heaven, because then you could let me in.--By my honor and conscience, replied O'Leary, it would be better for you that I had the keys of the other ... Knowing His Man
A MAN was brought before Lord Mansfield, charged with stealing a silver ladle, and the counsel for the crown was rather severe upon the prisoner for being an attorney. Come, come, said his lordship, don't exaggerate matters; if the fellow had been a... Knowing His Man
AN attorney, not celebrated for his probity, was robbed one night on his way from Wicklow to Dublin. His father meeting Baron O'Grady next day, said, My lord, have you heard of my son's robbery?--No, replied the baron; whom did he rob? ... Knowing His Place
AT a grand review by George III. of the Portsmouth fleet in 1789, there was a boy who mounted the shrouds with so much agility as to surprise every spectator. The king particularly noticed it, and said to Lord Lothian, Lothian, I have heard much of ... Lady Anne
AT Portsmouth, during the representation of Richard the Third, on Richard exclaiming, O, take more pity in thine eyes, and see him here, Miss White, who was in Lady Anne, indignantly exclaimed, Would they were battle-axes (basilisks) to strike thee ... Lamb And Erskine
COUNSELLOR LAMB, an old man when Lord Erskine was in the height of his reputation, was of timid and nervous disposition, usually prefacing his pleadings with an apology to that effect; and on one occasion, when opposed, in some cause, to Erskine, he... Lamb And Sharp Sauce
A RETIRED cheesemonger, who hated any allusions to the business that had enriched him, said to Charles Lamb, in course of discussion on the Poor-Laws, You must bear in mind, sir, that I have got rid of that sort of stuff which you poets call the 'mi... Landlord And Tenants
SAYS his landlord to Thomas, Your rent I must raise, I'm so plaguily pinch'd for the pelf. Raise my rent! replies Thomas; your honor's main good; For I never can raise it myself. ... Large But Not Large Enough
THE Rev. William Cole, of Cambridge, nicknamed the Cardinal, was remarkable for what is called a comfortable assurance. Dining in a party at the University, he took up from the table a gold snuff-box, belonging to the gentleman seated next to him, a... Late And Early
THE regular routine of clerkly business ill suited the literary tastes and the wayward habits of Charles Lamb. Once, at the India House, a superior said to him, I have remarked, Mr. Lamb, that you come very late to the office.--Yes, sir, replied the... Late Dinner
SOME one remarking that the dinner hour was always getting later and later, Ay, quoth Rogers, it will soon end in our not dining till to-morrow. ... Latimer
THE pious and learned martyr, and Bishop of Worcester, who was educated at Christ College, Cambridge, and was one of the first reformers of the Church of England, at a controversial conference, being out-talked by younger divines, and out-argued by ... Law And Physic
A LEARNED judge being asked the difference between law and equity courts, replied, At common law you are done for at once: at equity, you are not so easily disposed of. One is prussic acid, and the other laudanum. ... Law And Physic
WHEN Dr. H. and Sergeant A. were walking arm-in-arm, a wag said to a friend, These two are just equal to one highwayman.--Why? was the response. Because it is a lawyer and a doctor--your money or your life. ... Law And The Scottish Thane
DURING the representation of Macbeth, an eminent special pleader graced the boxes of Drury Lane Theatre, to see it performed. When the hero questions the Witches, as to what they are doing: they answer, a deed without a name. Our counsellor, whose a... Lawyer's House
THE lawyer's house, if I have rightly read, Is built upon the fool or madman's head. ... Leaving His Verdict
I REMEMBER, says Lord Biden, Mr. Justice Gould trying a case at York, and when he had proceeded for about two hours, he observed, 'Here are only eleven jurymen in the box, where is the twelfth?'--'Please you, my lord,' said one of the eleven, 'he ha... Leg Wit
ONE night Erskine was hastening out of the House of Commons, when he was stopped by a member going in, who accosted him, Who's up, Erskine?--Windham, was the reply. What's he on?--His legs, answered the wit. ... Legal Adulteration
SEVERAL publicans being assembled at Malton, in Yorkshire, in order to renew their licenses to retail beer, the worthy magistrate addressed one of them (an old woman), and said he trusted she did not put any pernicious ingredients into the liquor; t... Legal Extravagance
HURRAH! Hurrah! cried a young lawyer, who had succeeded to his father's practice, I've settled that old chancery suit at last.--Settled it! cried the astonished parent, why I gave you that as an annuity for your life. ...