On The Four Georges
GEORGE the First was always reckoned
Vile,--but viler, George the Second;
And what mortal ever heard
Any good of George the Third?
When from earth the Fourth descended,
God be praised, the Georges ended.
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On Farren The Actor
IF Farren, cleverest of men, Should go to the right about, What part of town will he be then? Why, Farren-done-without! ... On Jekyll Nearly Being Thrown Down By A Very Small Pig
AS Jekyll walked out in his gown and his wig, He happened to tread on a very small pig: Pig of science, he said, or else I'm mistaken, For surely thou art an abridgment of Bacon. ... On Mr Gully Being Returned Mp For Pontefract
STRANGE is it, proud Pontefract's borough should sully Its fame by returning to parliament Gully. The etymological cause, I suppose, is His breaking the bridges of so many noses. ... On Mr Husband's Marriage
THIS case is the strangest we've known in our life, The husband's a husband, and so is the wife. ... On Mr Milton The Livery Stable-keeper
TWO Miltons, in separate ages were born, The cleverer Milton 'tis clear we have got; Though the other had talents the world to adorn, This lives by his mews, which the other could not! ... On Mr Pitt's Being Pelted By The Mob On Lord Mayor's
DAY, 1787. THE City-feast inverted here we find, For Pitt had his dessert before he dined. ... On Napoleon's Statue At Boulogne Turned By Design Or
ACCIDENT, WITH ITS BACK TO ENGLAND. UPON its lofty column's stand Napoleon takes his place: His back still turned upon that land That never saw his face. ... On Pride
FITSMALL, who drinks with knights and lords, To steal a share of notoriety, Will tell you in important words, He mixes in the best society. ... On Rogers The Poet Who Was Egotistical
SO well deserved is Rogers' fame, That friends, who hear him most, advise The egotist to change his name To Argus, with his hundred I's! ... On Shelley's Poem Prometheus Unbound
SHELLEY styles his new poem, Prometheus Unbound, And 'tis like to remain so while time circles round; For surely an age would be spent in the finding A reader so weak as to pay for the binding. ... On Sir Walter Scott's Poem Of Waterloo
ON Waterloo's ensanguined plain, Full many a gallant man lies slain; But none, by bullet or by shot, Fell half so flat as Walter Scott. ... On The Disappointment Of The Whig Associates Of The Prince
REGENT AT NOT OBTAINING OFFICE. YE politicians, tell me, pray, Why thus with woe and care rent? This is the worst that you can say, Some wind has blown the wig away, And left the Hair Apparent. ... On The Dulness Of A Debate In The House Of Commons
NO wonder the debate fell dead 'Neath such a constant fire of lead. ... On The Four Georges
GEORGE the First was always reckoned Vile,--but viler, George the Second; And what mortal ever heard Any good of George the Third? When from earth the Fourth descended, God be praised, the Georges ended. ... On The Latin Gerunds
WHEN Dido mourned, AEneas would not come, She wept in silence, and was Di-Do-Dumb. ... On The Name Of Keopalani (queen Of The Sandwich Islands)
WHICH SIGNIFIES THE DROPPING OF THE CLOUDS FROM HEAVEN. THIS name's the best that could be given, As will by proof be quickly seen; For dropping from the clouds from Heaven, She was, of course, the raining Queen. ... On The Price Of Admission To See The Mammoth Horse
I WOULD not pay a coin to see An animal much larger; Surely the mammoth horse must be Rather an overcharger. ... On The Right Side
IT was said of one that remembered everything that he lent, but nothing that he borrowed, that he had lost half of his memory. ... On The Spot
TWO Oxonians dining together, one of them noticing a spot of grease on the neck-cloth of his companion, said, I see you are a Grecian.--Pooh! said the other, that is far-fetched.--No, indeed, said the punster, I made it on the spot. ... One Bite At A Cherry
A YOUNG fellow once offered to kiss a Quakeress. Friend, said she, thee must not do it.--O, by Jove! but I must, said the youth. Well, friend, as thee hast sworn, thee may do it, but thee must not make a practice of it. ... One Fault
SHE is insupportable, said a wit with marked emphasis, of one well known; but, as if he had gone too far, he added, It is her only defect. ... One For His Nob
A BARRISTER entered the hall with his wig very much awry, of which he was not at all apprised, but was obliged to endure from almost every observer some remark on its appearance, till at last, addressing himself to Mr. Curran, he asked him, Do you s... One Good Turn Deserves Another
DR. A., physician at Newcastle, being summoned to a vestry, in order to reprimand the sexton for drunkenness, he dwelt so long on the sexton's misconduct, as to draw from him this expression: Sir, I thought you would have been the last man alive to ... One Head Better Than A Dozen
KING HENRY VIII., designing to send an embassy to Francis I. at a very dangerous juncture, the nobleman selected begged to be excused, saying, Such a threatening message to so hot a prince as Francis I. might go near to cost him his life.--Fear not,... One Thing At A Time
A VERY dull play was talked of, and one attempted a defence by saying, It was not hissed.--True, said another; no one can hiss and gape at the same time. ... Only A Ninepin
THE Earl of Lonsdale was so extensive a proprietor, and patron of boroughs, that he returned nine members to Parliament, who were facetiously called Lord Lonsdale's ninepins. One of the members thus designated, having made a very extravagant speech ...