The Ruling Passion
THE death of Mr. Holland, of Drury Lane Theatre, who was the son of a
baker at Chiswick, had a very great effect upon the spirits of Foote,
who had a very warm friendship for him. Being a legatee, as well as
appointed by the will of the deceased one of his bearers, he attended
the corpse to the family vault at Chiswick, and there very sincerely
paid a plentiful tribute of tears to his memory. On his return to town,
Harry Woodward asked him if he had not been paying the last compliment
to his friend Holland? Yes, poor fellow, says Foote, almost weeping at
the same time, I have just seen him shoved into the family oven.
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The Poets To Certain Critics
SAY, why erroneous vent your spite? Your censure, friends, will raise us; If you do wish to damn us quite, Only begin to praise us! ... The Polite Scholar
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WHEN Jefferies was told that the Prince of Orange would very soon land, and that a manifesto, stating his inducements, objects, &c., was already written, Pray, my Lord Chief Justice, said a gentleman present, what do you think will be the heads of t... The Principle Of Governments
I SHALL not easily forget the sarcasm of Swift's simile as he told us of the Prince of Orange's harangue to the mob of Portsmouth. We are come, said he, for your good--for all your goods.--A universal principle, added Swift, of all governments; but,... The Purser
LADY HARDWICKE, the lady of the Chancellor, loved money as well as he did, and what he got she saved. The purse in which the Great Seal is carried is of very expensive embroidery, and was provided, during his time, every year. Lady Hardwicke took ca... The Railroad Engineer
THOUGH a railroad, learned Rector, Passes near your parish spire; Think not, sir, your Sunday lecture E'er will overwhelmed expire. Put not then your hopes in weepers, Solid work my road secures; Preach whate'er ... The Reason Why
A MAN said the only reason why his dwelling was not blown away in a late storm was, because there was a heavy mortgage on it. ... The Reason Why
FOOTE was once asked, why learned men are to be found in rich men's houses, and rich men never to be seen in those of the learned. Why, said he, the first know what they want, but the latter do not. ... The Rebel Lords
AT the trial of the rebel lords, George Selwyn, seeing Bethel's sharp visage looking wistfully at the prisoners, said, What a shame it is to turn her face to the prisoners, until they are condemned! Some women were scolding Selwyn for going to see... The Republic Of Learning
ONE asked another why learning was always called a republic. Forsooth, quoth the other, because scholars are so poor that they have not a sovereign amongst them. ... The Republic Of Letters
HOOD suggests that the phrase republic of letters was hit upon to insinuate that, taking the whole lot of authors together, they had not got a sovereign amongst them. ... The Retort Cutting
BISHOPS SHERLOCK and HOADLY were both freshmen of the same year, at Catherine Hall, Cambridge. The classical subject in which they were first lectured was Tully's Offices, and one morning Hoadly received a compliment from the tutor for the excellenc... The Richmond Hoax
ONE of the best practical jokes in Theodore Hook's clever Gilbert Gurney, is Daly's hoax upon the lady who had never been at Richmond before, or, at least, knew none of the peculiarities of the place. Daly desired the waiter, after dinner, to bring ... The Right Organ
SPURZHEIM was lecturing on phrenology. What is to be conceived the organ of drunkenness? said the professor. The barrel-organ, interrupted an auditor. ... The Rising Son
POPE dining once with Frederic, Prince of Wales, paid the prince many compliments. I wonder, Pope, said the prince, that you, who are so severe on kings, should be so complaisant to me.--It is, said the wily bard, because I like the lion before his ... The Rivals
A GOOD story of Gibbon is told in the last volume of Moore's Memoirs. The dramatis personae were Lady Elizabeth Foster, Gibbon the historian, and an eminent French physician,--the historian and doctor being rivals in courting the lady's favor. Impat... The Ruling Passion
IN the last illness of George Colman, the doctor being late in an appointment, apologized to his patient, saying that he had been called in to see a man who had fallen down a well. Did he kick the bucket, doctor? groaned out poor George. ... The Ruling Passion
THE death of Mr. Holland, of Drury Lane Theatre, who was the son of a baker at Chiswick, had a very great effect upon the spirits of Foote, who had a very warm friendship for him. Being a legatee, as well as appointed by the will of the deceased one... The Ruling Passion
A LADY'S beauty is dear to her at all times. A very lovely woman, worn out with a long and painful sickness, begged her attendants to desist rubbing her temples with Hungary water, as it would make her hair gray! ... The Ruling Passion After Death
A DRUNKEN witness leaving the box, blurted out, My Lord, I never cared for anything but women and horseflesh! Mr. Justice Maule: Oh, you never cared for anything but women and horseflesh? Then I advise you to go home and make your will, or, if you h... The Ruling Passion Strong In Death
CURRAN'S ruling passion was his joke. In his last illness, his physician observing in the morning that he seemed to cough with more difficulty, he answered, That is rather surprising, as I have been practising all night. ... The Ruling Passion Strong In Death
A DYING miser sent for his solicitor, and said, Now begin, and I will dictate particulars.--I give and I bequeath, commenced the man of law. No, no, interrupted the testator; I do nothing of the kind; I will never give or bequeath anything: I cannot... The Saddle On The Right Horse
AS a man who, deeply involved in debt, was walking in the street with a very melancholy air, one of his acquaintance asked him why he was so sorrowful. Alas! said he, I am in a state of insolvency.--Well, said his friend, if that is the case, it is ... The Safe Side
DURING the riots of 1780, most persons in London, in order to save their houses from being burnt or pulled down, wrote on their doors, No Popery! Old Grimaldi, the father of the celebrated Joey, to avoid all mistakes, wrote on his, No Religion! ... The Salic Law
IS a most sensible and valuable law, banishing gallantry and chivalry from Cabinets, and preventing the amiable antics of grave statesmen. ... The Scold's Vocabulary
THE copiousness of the English language perhaps was never more apparent than in the following character, by a lady, of her own husband:-- He is, says she, an abhorred, barbarous, capricious, detestable, envious, fastidious, hard-hearted, illiberal... The Season-ings
COME here, Johnny, and tell me what the four seasons are. Young Prodigy: Pepper, salt, mustard, and vinegar. ... The Snuff-box
AT a party in Portman Square, Brummell's snuff-box was particularly admired: it was handed round, and a gentleman, finding it rather difficult to open, incautiously applied a dessert-knife to the lid. Poor Brummell was on thorns; at last he could no... The Specific Gravity Of Folly
COLERIDGE once dined in company with a grave-looking person, an admirable listener, who said nothing, but smiled and nodded, and thus impressed the poet with an idea of his intelligence. That man is a philosopher, thought Coleridge. At length, towar... The Spirit And The Letter
A MAN was described in a plea as I. Jones, and the pleader referred in another part of the plea to I as an initial. The plaintiff said that the plea was bad, because I was not a name. Sir W. Maule said that there was no reason why a man might not be... The Staffordshire Collieries
MANY anecdotes might be collected to show the great difficulty of discovering a person in the collieries without being in possession of his nickname. The following was received from a respectable attorney. During his clerkship he was sent to serve s... The Sun In His Eye
LORD PLUNKETT had a son in the Church at the time the Tithe Corporation Act was passed, and warmly supported the measure. Some one observed, I wonder how it is that so sensible a man as Plunkett cannot see the imperfections in the Tithe Corporation ... The Superiority Of Machinery
A MECHANIC his labor will often discard, If the rate of his pay he dislikes: But a clock--and its case is uncommonly hard-- Will continue to work though it strikes! ... The Sword And The Scabbard
A WAG, on seeing his friend with something under his cloak, asked him what it was. A poniard, answered he; but he observed that it was a bottle: taking it from him, and drinking the contents, he returned it, saying, There, I give you the scabbard ba...