Truth Not To Be Spoken At All Times
GARRICK was on a visit at Hagley, when news came that a company of
players were going to perform at Birmingham. Lord Lyttelton said to
Garrick, They will hear you are in the neighborhood, and will ask you
to write an address to the Birmingham audience.--Suppose, then, said
Garrick, without the least hesitation, I begin thus:--
Ye sons of iron, copper, brass, and steel,
Who have not heads to think, nor hearts to feel--
Oh! cried his lordship, if you begin thus, they will hiss the players
off the stage and pull the house down.--My lord, said Garrick, what
is the use of an address if it does not come home to the business and
bosoms of the audience?
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Trade Against Land
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A FRENCH nobleman once showing Matthew Prior the palace of his master at Versailles, and desiring him to observe the many trophies of Louis the Fourteenth's victories, asked Prior if King William, his master, had many such trophies in his palace. No... True And False
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I SWEAR, said a gentleman to his mistress, you are very handsome.--Pooh! said the lady, so you would say if you did not think so.--And so you would think, answered he, though I should not say so. ... True Philosophy
LE SAGE, the author of Gil Blas, said, to console himself for his deafness, with his usual humor, When I go into a company where I find a great number of blockheads and babblers, I replace my trumpet in my pocket, and cry, 'Now, gentlemen, I defy yo... True Politeness
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IT may be all very well to say that the office of a tax-gatherer needs no great ability for the fulfilment of its duties, but there is no employment which requires such constant application. ... True Wit
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IN the days of Charles II., candidates for holy orders were expected to respond in Latin to the various interrogatories put to them by the bishop or his examining chaplain. When the celebrated Dr. Isaac Barrow (who was fellow of Trinity College, and... Truth Not Always To Be Spoken
IF a man were to set out calling everything by its right name, he would be knocked down before he got to the corner of the street. ... Truth Not To Be Spoken At All Times
GARRICK was on a visit at Hagley, when news came that a company of players were going to perform at Birmingham. Lord Lyttelton said to Garrick, They will hear you are in the neighborhood, and will ask you to write an address to the Birmingham audien... Truth _versus_ Politeness
AT a tea-party, where some Cantabs were present, the lady who was presiding Hoped the tea was good.--Very good, indeed, madam, was the general reply, till it came to the turn of one of the Cantabs, who, between truth and politeness observed, That th... Trying To The Temper
LORD ALLEN, in conversation with Rogers, the poet, observed: I never put my razor into hot water, as I find it injures the temper of the blade.--No doubt of it, replied Rogers; show me the blade that is not out of temper when plunged into hot water.... Twice Ruined
I NEVER was ruined but twice, said a wit; once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I gained one. ... Two Carriages
TWO ladies disputed for precedency, one the daughter of a wealthy brewer, the other the daughter of a gentleman of small fortune. You are to consider, miss, said the brewer's daughter, that my papa keeps a coach.--Very true, miss, said the other, an... Two Cures For Ague
BISHOP BLOMFIELD, when presiding over the diocese of London, had occasion to call the attention of the Essex incumbents to the necessity of residing in their parishes; and he reminded them that curates were, after all, of the same flesh and blood as... Two Make A Pair
SOON after the attack of Margaret Nicholson on the life of George III., the following bill was stuck up in the window of an obscure alehouse: Here is to be seen the fork belonging to the knife with which Margaret Nicholson attempted to stab the King... Two Of A Trade
WHEN Bannister was asked his opinion of a new singer that had appeared at Covent Garden, Why, said Charles, he may be Robin Hood this season, but he will be robbing Harris (the manager) the next. ... Two Sides To A Speech
CHARLES LAMB sitting next some chattering woman at dinner, observing he didn't attend to her, You don't seem, said the lady, to be at all the better for what I am saying to you!--No, ma'am, he answered, but this gentleman on the other side of me mus... Twofold Illustration
SIR FLETCHER NORTON was noted for his want of courtesy. When pleading before Lord Mansfield on some question of manorial right, he chanced unfortunately to say, My lord, I can illustrate the point in an instant in my own person: I myself have two li... Typographical Wit
HO! Tommy, bawls Type, to a brother in trade, The ministry are to be changed, it is said. That's good, replied Tom, but it better would be With a trifling erratum.--What?--Dele the c. ... Ugly Trades
THE ugliest of trades have their moments of pleasure. Now, if I were a grave-digger, or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for ... Uncivil Warning
A CELEBRATED professor, dining in company with a gaudy, discordant, and silly chatterer, was asked to help her to the usual concomitant of boiled fowl. As he did so, he abstractedly murmured, Parsley,--fatal to parrots. ... Union Is Strength
A KIND-HEARTED, but somewhat weak-headed, parishioner in the far north got into the pulpit of the parish church one Sunday before the minister, who happened on that day to be rather behind time. Come down, Jamie, said the minister, that's my place.-... Union Of Opposites
A PHRENOLOGIST remarking that some persons had the organ of murder and benevolence strongly and equally developed, his friend replied, that doubtless those were the persons who would kill one with kindness. ... Unkind
PRAY, sir, said Lady Wallace to David Hume, I am often asked what age I am; what answer should I make? Mr. Hume, immediately guessing her ladyship's meaning, said, Madam, when you are asked that question again, answer that you are not yet come to th... Unknown Tongue
DURING the long French war, two old ladies in Stranraer were going to the kirk, the one said to the other, Was it no a wonderfu' thing that the Breetish were aye victorious ower the French in battle?--Not a bit, said the other old lady, dinna ye ken...