ARITHMETIC

"He seems to be very clever."



"Yes, indeed, he can even do the problems that his children have to work

out at school."





SONNY--"Aw, pop, I don't wanter study arithmetic."



POP--"What! a son of mine grow up and not he able to figure up baseball

scores and batting averages? Never!"





TEACHER--"Now, Johnny, suppose I should borrow $100 from yo r father and

should pay him $10 a month for ten months, how much would I then owe

him?"



JOHNNY--"About $3 interest."





"See how I can count, mama," said Kitty. "There's my right foot. That's

one. There's my left foot. That's two. Two and one make three. Three

feet make a yard, and I want to go out and play in it!"





"Two old salts who had spent most of their lives on fishing smacks had

an argument one day as to which was the better mathematician," said

George C. Wiedenmayer the other day. "Finally the captain of their ship

proposed the following problem which each would try to work out: 'If a

fishing crew caught 500 pounds of cod and brought their catch to port

and sold it at 6 cents a pound, how much would they receive for the

fish?'



"Well, the two old fellows got to work, but neither seemed able to

master the intricacies of the deal in fish, and they were unable to get

any answer.



"At last old Bill turned to the captain and asked him to repeat the

problem. The captain started off: 'If a fishing crew caught 500 pounds

of cod and--.'



"'Wait a moment,' said Bill, 'is it codfish they caught?'



"'Yep,' said the captain.



"'Darn it all,' said Bill. 'No wonder I couldn't get an answer. Here

I've been figuring on salmon all the time.'"