>

"What about?"



"I don't know whether it is because she has eaten too many strawberries

or because she wants more," replied the discouraged mother.





BANKS--"I had a new experience yesterday, one you might call

unaccountable. I ate a hearty dinner, finishing up with a Welsh rabbit,

a mince pie and some lobster à la Newburgh. Then I went to a place of

amusement. I had hardly entered the building before everything swam

before me."



BINKS--"The Welsh rabbit did it."



BUNKS--"No; it was the lobster."



BONKS--"I think it was the mince pie."



BANKS--"No; I have a simpler explanation than that. I never felt better

in my life; I was at the Aquarium."--_Judge_.





Among a party of Bostonians who spent some time in a hunting-camp in

Maine were two college professors. No sooner had the learned gentlemen

arrived than their attention was attracted by the unusual position of

the stove, which was set on posts about four feet high.



This circumstance afforded one of the professors immediate opportunity

to comment upon the knowledge that woodsmen gain by observation.



"Now," said he, "this man has discovered that heat emanating from a

stove strikes the roof, and that the circulation is so quickened that

the camp is warmed in much less time than would be required were the

stove in its regular place on the floor."



But the other professor ventured the opinion that the stove was elevated

to be above the window in order that cool and pure air could be had at

night.



The host, being of a practical turn, thought that the stove was set high

in order that a good supply of green wood could be placed under it.



After much argument, they called the guide and asked why the stove was

in such a position.



The man grinned. "Well, gents," he explained, "when I brought the stove

up the river I lost most of the stove-pipe overboard; so we had to set

the stove up that way so as to have the pipe reach through the roof."





Jack Barrymore, son of Maurice Barrymore, and himself an actor of some

ability, is not over-particular about his personal appearance and is a

little lazy.



He was in San Francisco on the morning of the earthquake. He was thrown

out of bed by one of the shocks, spun around on the floor and left

gasping in a corner. Finally, he got to his feet and rushed for a

bathtub, where he stayed all that day. Next day he ventured out. A

soldier, with a bayonet on his gun, captured Barrymore and compelled him

to pile bricks for two days.



Barrymore was telling his terrible experience in the Lambs' Club in New

York.



"Extraordinary," commented Augustus Thomas, the playwright. "It took a

convulsion of nature to make Jack take a bath, and the United States

Army to make him go to work."