DOGS

LADY (to tramp who had been commissioned to find her lost poodle)--"The

poor little darling, where did you find him?"



TRAMP--"Oh, a man 'ad 'im, miss, tied to a pole, and was cleaning the

windows wiv 'im!"





A family moved from the city to a suburban locality and were told that

they should get a watchdog to guard the premises at night. So they

bought the largest dog that was for ale in the kennels of a neighboring

dog fancier, who was a German. Shortly afterward the house was entered

by burglars who made a good haul, while the big dog slept. The man went

to the dog fancier and told him about it.



"Veil, vat you need now," said the dog merchant, "is a leedle dog to

vake up the big dog."





"Dogs is mighty useful beasts

They might seem bad at first

They might seem worser right along

But when they're dead

They're wurst."



--_Ellis Parker Butler_.





"My dog took first prize at the cat show."



"How was that?"



"He took the cat."--_Judge_.





FAIR VISITOR--"Why are you giving Fido's teeth such a thorough

brushing?"



FOND MISTRESS--"Oh! The poor darling's just bitten some horrid person,

and, really, you know, one can't be too careful."--_Life_.





"Do you know that that bulldog of yours killed my wife's little

harmless, affectionate poodle?"



"Well, what are you going to do about it?"



"Would you be offended if I was to present him with a nice brass

collar?"





Fleshy Miss Muffet

Sat down on Tuffet,

A very good dog in his way;

When she saw what she'd done,

She started to run--

And Tuffet was buried next day.