FLATTERY


With a sigh she laid down the magazine article upon Daniel O'Connell.

"The day of great men," she said, "is gone forever."



"But the day of beautiful women is not," he responded.



She smiled and blushed. "I was only joking," she explained, hurriedly.





MAGISTRATE (about to commit for trial)--"You certainly effected the

robbery in a remarkably ingenious way; in fact, with quite exc
ptional

cunning."



PRISONER--"Now, yer honor, no flattery, please; no flattery, I begs

yer."





OLD MAID--"But why should a great strong man like you be found begging?"



WAYFARER--"Dear lady, it is the only profession I know in which a

gentleman can address a beautiful woman without an introduction."





William ---- was said to be the ugliest, though the most lovable, man in

Louisiana. On returning to the plantation after a short absence, his

brother said:



"Willie, I met in New Orleans a Mrs. Forrester who is a great admirer of

yours. She said, though, that it wasn't so much the brillancy of your

mental attainments as your marvelous physical and facial beauty which

charmed and delighted her."



"Edmund," cried William earnestly, "that is a wicked lie, but tell it to

me again!"





"You seem to be an able-bodied man. You ought to be strong enough to

work."



"I know, mum. And you seem to be beautiful enough to go on the stage,

but evidently you prefer the simple life."



After that speech he got a square meal and no reference to the woodpile.





O, that men's ears should be

To counsel deaf, but not to flattery!



--_Shakespeare_.



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