OFFICESEEKERS

A gentleman, not at all wealthy, who had at one time represented in

Congress, through a couple of terms a district not far from the national

capitol, moved to California where in a year or so he rose to be

sufficiently prominent to become a congressional subject, and he was

visited by the central committee of his district to be talked to.



"We want you," said the spokesman, "to accept the nomination for

Co gress."



"I can't do it, gentlemen," he responded promptly.



"You must," the spokesman demanded.



"But I can't," he insisted. "I'm too poor."



"Oh, that will be all right; we've got plenty of money for the

campaign."



"But that is nothing," contended the gentleman; "it's the expense in

Washington. I've been there, and know all about it."



"Well you didn't lose by it, and it doesn't cost any more because you

come from California."



The gentleman became very earnest.



"Doesn't it?" he exclaimed in a business-like tone. "Why my dear sirs, I

used to have to send home every month about half a dozen busted

office-seeker constituents, and the fare was only $3 apiece, and I could

stand it, but it would cost me over $100 a head to send them out here,

and I'm no millionaire; therefore, as much as I regret it, I must insist

on declining."





"On a trip to Washington," said Col. W.F. Cody. "I had for a companion

Sousa, the band leader. We had berths opposite each other. Early one

morning as we approached the capital I thought I would have a little

fun. I got a morning paper, and, after rustling it a few minutes, I said

to Sousa:



"'That's the greatest order Cleveland has just issued!'



"'What's that?' came from the opposite berth.



"'Why he's ordered all the office-seekers rounded up at the depot and

sent home.'



"You should have seen the general consternation that ensued. From almost

every berth on the car a head came out from between the curtains, and

with one accord nearly every man shouted:



'What's that?'"