BILLY--"Huh! I bet you didn't have a good time at your birthday party


WILLIE--"I bet I did."

BILLY--"Then why ain't you sick today?"

Winnie had been very naughty, and her mamma said: "Don't you know you

will never go to Heaven if you are so naughty?"

After thinking a moment she said: "Oh, well, I have been to the circus

nd 'Uncle Tom's Cabin' twice. I can't expect to go everywhere."

In Concord, New Hampshire, they tell of an old chap who made his wife

keep a cash account. Each week he would go over it, growling and

grumbling. On one such occasion he delivered himself of the following:

"Look here, Sarah, mustard-plasters, fifty cents; three teeth extracted,

two dollars! There's two dollars and a half in one week spent for your

own private pleasure. Do you think I am made of money?"

Here's to beauty, wit and wine and to a full stomach, a full purse and a

light heart.

A dinner, coffee and cigars,

Of friends, a half a score.

Each favorite vintage in its turn,--

What man could wish for more?

The roses of pleasure seldom last long enough to adorn the brow of him

who plucks them; for they are the only roses which do not retain their

sweetness after they have lost their beauty.--_Hannah More_.

_See also_ Amusements.