TEMPERANCE

A Boston deacon who was a zealous advocate for the cause of temperance

employed a carpenter to make some alterations in his home. In repairing

a corner near the fireplace, it was found necessary to remove the

wainscot, when some things were brought to light which greatly

astonished the workman. A brace of decanters, sundry bottles containing

"something to take," a pitcher, and tumblers were cosily reposing in

their snu quarters. The joiner ran to the proprietor with the

intelligence.



"Well, I declare!" exclaimed the deacon. "That is curious, sure enough.

It must be old Captain Bunce that left those things there when he

occupied the premises thirty years since."



"Perhaps he did, returned the discoverer, but, Deacon, that ice in the

pitcher must have been well frozen to remain solid."--_Abbie C. Dixon_.







Here's to a temperance supper,

With water in glasses tall,

And coffee and tea to end with

And me not there at all.





The best prohibition story of the season comes from Kansas where, it is

said, a local candidate stored a lot of printed prohibition literature

in his barn, but accidentally left the door open and a herd of milch

cows came in and ate all the pamphlets. As a result every cow in the

herd went dry.--_Adrian Times_.





A Michigan citizen recently received a letter from a Kentucky whisky

house, requesting him to send them the names of a dozen or more persons

who would like to get some fine whisky shipped to them at a very low

price. The letter wound up by saying:



"We will give you a commission on all the orders sent in by parties

whose names you send us."



The Michigan man belonged to a practical joke class, and filled in the

names of some of his prohibition friends on the blank spaces left for

that purpose.



He had forgotten all about his supposed practical joke when Monday he

received another letter from the same house. He supposed it was a

request for some more names, and was just about to throw the

communication in the waste basket when it occurred to him to send the

name of another old friend to the whisky house. He accordingly tore open

the envelope, and came near collapsing when he found a check for $4.80,

representing his commission on the sale of whisky to the parties whose

names he had sent in about three weeks before.





Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.--_Samuel

Johnson_.