THEATER


"Say, old man," chattered the press-agent, who had cornered a producer

of motion-picture plays, "I've got a grand idea for a film-drama. Listen

to the impromptu scenario: Scene one, exterior of a Broadway theater,

with the ticket-speculators getting the coin in handfuls, and--"



"You're out!" interrupted the producer. "Why, don't you know that the

law don't permit us to show an actual robbery on the screen?"--_P.H.
>
Carey_.





"Why don't women have the same sense of humor that men possess?" asked

Mr. Torkins.



"Perhaps," answered his wife gently, "it's because we don't attend the

same theaters."





It appears that at the rehearsal of a play, a wonderful climax had been

reached, which was to be heightened by the effective use of the usual

thunder and lightning. The stage-carpenter was given the order. The

words were spoken, and instantly a noise which resembled a succession of

pistol-shots was heard off the wings.



"What on earth are you doing, man?" shouted the manager, rushing behind

the scenes. "Do you call that thunder? It's not a bit like it."



"Awfully sorry, sir," responded the carpenter; "but the fact is, sir, I

couldn't hear you because of the storm. That was real thunder, sir!"





Everybody has his own theater, in which he is manager, actor, prompter,

playwright, sceneshifter, boxkeeper, doorkeeper, all in one, and

audience into the bargain.--_J.C. and A.W. Hare_.



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