Yes said a landlord sadly whose tenant had made a moonlight flitting appearances are deceitful; but disappearances are still more so
"Yes" said a landlord, sadly, whose tenant had made a moonlight "flitting," "appearances are deceitful; but disappearances are still more so." ... Yes the team is quite a good one Mr
"Yes, the team is quite a good one, Mr. Horsley," he said as he returned the livery man's brag team, "but it has two drawbacks." "Oh, indeed; and may I inquire what they are?" "The lines." ... Yes there is one part of the dough-nut that wouldn't give you dyspepsia
"Yes, there is one part of the dough-nut that wouldn't give you dyspepsia." "And what part is that?" "The hole in the middle!" ... You are absolutely certain about your statement
"You are absolutely certain about your statement?" asked the lawyer. "Absolutely certain," assented the witness. "You swear that this is true?" "I do." "Would you bet on it?" "Er--well--yes, if I got the right odds." ... You are making yourself rather officious in this crowd said a burly policeman to a notorious pickpocket
"You are making yourself rather officious in this crowd," said a burly policeman to a notorious pickpocket. "I am only trying to dis-purse them," said the thief. ... You have a bad cold he said
"You have a bad cold," he said. "I have," she replied huskily. "I am so hoarse that if you attempted to kiss me I couldn't even scream." ... You have been losing flesh lately haven't you
"You have been losing flesh lately, haven't you?" "Yes, I've been shaving myself." ... You haven't a cent and yet wish to marry Miss Bilyan
"You haven't a cent, and yet wish to marry Miss Bilyan. Don't you expect her father to kick you out?" "Oh, no I intend to go before the footlights." ... You know Fatty Schultz the butcher
"You know Fatty Schultz the butcher. What do you suppose he weighs?" "I don't know, what does he weigh?" "Meat." ... You never bought a gold brick did you
"You never bought a gold brick, did you?" asked the admiring friend. "Not exactly," answered Mr. Cumrox. "But I once came mighty near having a French count for a son-in-law." ... You ought to be very proud of your wife
"You ought to be very proud of your wife. She is a brilliant talker." "You're right there." "Why, I could listen to her all night." "I have to." ... You ought to sleep well, You lie so easily
You ought to sleep well, You lie so easily! ... You own your own house don't you
"You own your own house, don't you?" "I used to." "Have you sold it?" "No, I haven't sold it." "Then how is it you don't own it?" "Well, you see, we have company most of the time." ... You say his wife's a brunette
"You say his wife's a brunette? I thought he married a blonde." "He did, but she dyed." ... You should sleep on your right side madam
"You should sleep on your right side, madam." "I really can't do it, doctor; my husband talks in his sleep, and I can't hear a thing with my left ear." ...

Whether tall men or short men are best Or bold men or modest and shy men I can't say but this I protest All the fair are in favor of Hy-men Charlemagne was in need of amusement Couples making love will beware of the rubber plant Ma what is a Panama man called Ah Adversity is not without comfort--your enemy may be in harder luck than you Yes there is one part of the dough-nut that wouldn't give you dyspepsia MRS

What's the matter here MRS How by the statesman insincere Man's weary soul is vexed When we first dined at a cafe We feared they'd drop their trays but later We learned somewhat to our dismay It takes--as scores of men will say-- A big tip to upset a waiter Rowley Powley pudding and pie Kissed the girls and made them cry To-morrow never comes they say; But all such talk is idle gush For when we have a debt to pay To-morrow gets there with a rush 'Tis now the wily urchin mocks The lynx-eyed cop along the docks And plunges in the cooling tide Arrayed in naught else but his hide An emblem of tenuity We witness every day; Behold the corset-and you'll see The whale-bone comes to STAY