Ah
"Ah! I'm saddest when I sing," She sang in plaintive key; And all the neighbors yelled, "So are we! so are we." ... Alas for all their ecstasy They knew not what was best: The young man reached the front door The old man did the rest
Alas, for all their ecstasy, They knew not what was best: The young man reached the front door, The old man did the rest. ... ALGY--Charming widow isn't she
ALGY--"Charming widow, isn't she? They say she is to marry again." CHOLLY--"I wouldn't want to be a widow's second husband." ALGY--"Well, I'd rather be a widow's second husband than her first, doncher-know." ... AMERICAN--You have noticed I suppose that the balance of trade so far as your country and ours are concerned is still in our favor
AMERICAN--"You have noticed, I suppose, that the balance of trade, so far as your country and ours are concerned, is still in our favor?" ENGLISHMAN--"Nothing of the sort, sir. We exchange a worn-out title for a beautiful American heiress almos... An art-school student recently painted the picture of a dog under a tree so lifelike that it was impossible to distinguish the bark of the tree from that of the dog
An art-school student recently painted the picture of a dog under a tree so lifelike that it was impossible to distinguish the bark of the tree from that of the dog. ... An emblem of tenuity We witness every day; Behold the corset-and you'll see The whale-bone comes to STAY
An emblem of tenuity We witness every day; Behold the corset-and you'll see The whale-bone comes to STAY. ... An English motorist is quoted as saying that he classed pedestrians as the quick and the dead: those who got out of the way and those who didn't
An English motorist is quoted as saying that he classed pedestrians as the quick and the dead: those who got out of the way and those who didn't. ... An excellent reason
An excellent reason.--Casey--"Oi'll wurk no more fer thot mon Dolan." Mrs. Casey--"An' phwy?" Casey--"Shure, t'is an account av a remark thot he made t' me." Mrs. Casey--"Phwat did he say?" Casey--"Sez he, 'Pat, ye're discharged.'" ... An Irish doctor advertises that the deaf may hear of him at a house in Liffey street where his blind patients may see him from ten till three
An Irish doctor advertises that the deaf may hear of him at a house in Liffey street, where his blind patients may see him from ten till three. ... An Irishman comes to this country remains here ten years and goes back to Ireland and dies
"An Irishman comes to this country, remains here ten years, and goes back to Ireland and dies. What is he?" "Why, an Irishman, of course." "No, you're wrong; he is a corpse." ... An Irishman in order to celebrate the advent of a new era went out on a lark
An Irishman in order to celebrate the advent of a new era, went out on a lark. He didn't get home, till 3 o'clock in the morning, and was barely in the house before a nurse rushed up and, uncovering a bunch of soft goods, showed him triplets. The ... An Irishman just landed seeing an electric-motor car running for the first time exclaimed: Well well Ould Nick must be pullin' it wid a string
An Irishman, just landed, seeing an electric-motor car running for the first time, exclaimed: "Well, well, Ould Nick must be pullin' it wid a string." ... An Irishman quarreling with an Englishman told him if he didn't hold his tongue he would break his impenetrable head and let his brains out of his empty skull
An Irishman quarreling with an Englishman, told him if he didn't hold his tongue he would break his impenetrable head, and let his brains out of his empty skull. ... An Irishman wandering up Fifth avenue saw in the window of a photographer's shop a large photograph of Mephisto
An Irishman wandering up Fifth avenue saw in the window of a photographer's shop a large photograph of Mephisto. He went inside, and after gazing about the walls, said to the proprietor: "I want to have a pichtur taken av meself an' me bruther. ... An Irishman was planting shade trees when a passing lady said: You're digging out the holes are you Mr
An Irishman was planting shade trees when a passing lady said: "You're digging out the holes, are you, Mr. Haggerty?" "No, mum. Oi'm diggin' out the dirt an' lavin' the holes." ...

Whether tall men or short men are best Or bold men or modest and shy men I can't say but this I protest All the fair are in favor of Hy-men Charlemagne was in need of amusement Couples making love will beware of the rubber plant Ma what is a Panama man called Ah Adversity is not without comfort--your enemy may be in harder luck than you Yes there is one part of the dough-nut that wouldn't give you dyspepsia MRS

What's the matter here MRS How by the statesman insincere Man's weary soul is vexed When we first dined at a cafe We feared they'd drop their trays but later We learned somewhat to our dismay It takes--as scores of men will say-- A big tip to upset a waiter Rowley Powley pudding and pie Kissed the girls and made them cry To-morrow never comes they say; But all such talk is idle gush For when we have a debt to pay To-morrow gets there with a rush 'Tis now the wily urchin mocks The lynx-eyed cop along the docks And plunges in the cooling tide Arrayed in naught else but his hide An emblem of tenuity We witness every day; Behold the corset-and you'll see The whale-bone comes to STAY